PLAYING WITH POWER

Power Struggle (google)

     This scene is all to familiar with the average parent. Even if you make it to adolescence without major struggles, they are guaranteed during the "launching" phase of growth. Why? There comes a moment when... Hold up, I'm going to fast.
     From the time a child is born, they are moving toward Autonomy, meaning, having self government. I determined, before I ever got my miracle babies that I did not want to boss my children. Even as a child, I recognized that how the system works is "I am allowed to do whatever I want, as long as I don't get caught. You on the other hand, must do everything I say, or I have the power to hurt you." By the time I was an adult, and working as a social worker, I found a wonderful tool that will bring even a defiant child, to a place of self control.
     A child came into custody, who exhibited all the signs of a seriously emotionally disturbed child (later on, this was his diagnosis), and no one, including his worker, wanted to transport him to his appointments. My supervisor liked the worker, and felt that she was a "flight risk" and began demanding that I transport the child on my way to work. I had to set a boundary, and I did not budge. I simply sited that I am required to work 8-4:30 and the overtime I accept is on me. I informed the worker, who informed my supervisor that she could make appointments from 10 am to 2 pm and that I would not give up my private time for her convenience. Yea, I had to go head to head with my supervisor, but when she realized that I not only had policy and procedure behind me, and that I also was not afraid of losing my job, she had no other option than to inform the immature worker to grow up and do her job.

Pulling Power (google)

     As for the child, it only took a couple of times for him to realize that I would not allow his behavior without consequences and that would cost him his reward for good behavior. The moment he unbuckled his seat belt, I pulled over the car and informed him that my only job is getting him to and from his appointment safely. He was not safe, and I would not move the car until he got back into his car seat and buckle up. He then took at the coloring books from the backpack and began tearing out pages and throwing them all over the car. I informed him that the car wouldn't move until he cleaned up his mess and buckled up. He then, began screaming. I picked up the phone, and dialed his counselor. The moment he heard me say her name, and me saying, "Our little one is having behavioral problems today, I believe we are not going to be able to make it today....oh, wait a minute, my car is now clean and he is buckled. We will see you within 15 minutes."
      I have found, that more often than not, behavioral problems come from lack of trust or broken trust. When trusted adults hurt children, either on purpose or out of neglect, the child gets the hidden message, "you are on your own." Believe it or not, children learn trust through the attentive care of their parents. As a parent, we have to be vigilant. I can recall instances, where I saw a slight change in my children's behavior, and I was tired....maybe I didn't notice something....it's not important. But the Holy Spirit IS vigilant, and prods me to inquire. What I discovered, tore my heart out. My kids were being picked on and mistreated at a christian school. Before it was all over, we had to deal with "acting out" behavior before we could confront the school administration.

(google)

      When a person has obtained autonomy, they are self contained, which means that although there are all sorts of people with different levels of power, pulling on the soul, the person doesn't respond to those who are outside of his/her individual purpose. There are hoards of people who walk around naked. For example, when a person makes a scene at a government office, a grocery store, a restaurant. It's so hard not to inform that person, "Dang, girl, your naked. Every person in this facility, knows where you are emotionally....oh, I see, you have a whole group of people around you, as naked as you, and I'm not really seeing what I know I'm seeing." Yea, you can't help naked people see their condition. If we know that the system is a triangle with bottom feeders at the base, servants on top of them, then management, followed by leaders (local, county, state, federal), and world leaders, then we have to know where we are in all that. I hate the system so much, that I got out. I'm off the board.

The Key (google)

     Be it children or adult, taking yourself off the board, out of the equation, or as Jesus would say, "laying down your life," is the only way to win over power plays. It says to the person, in a matter of fact, tone, you are not part of my life, my purpose or my vision. I do not give you permission to set up a connection with me. My connector is at peace, and I lack for nothing. With people, if you can identify their fear and speak peace to it, you will see the "mickey" being removed from the interaction. Here's an example. A person cuts in line at a function, that you have waited in line for hours, for the hope of obtaining a limited seat ticket. This person happens to be a well known person in the community, but you know that they are down to 20 tickets left, and this person just might make you the 21st. Suddenly, you, a peaceful, kind, loving person goes into "fight or flight" mode. You begin to cause a huge scene, a few others join in...but, instead of removing the well known cutter, you are escorted to your car by bouncers. Twenty years later, and you are bitter. That man, well, he is not even thinking about you.
     In a nutshell, the fear is :If I allow him to cut without a word, I might not get a ticket that I am required to pay money AND time for, while he gets things that require nothing but his reputation. When you dissect fear, aim for the heart. In this case, the entitlement is Public Opportunity Should Be Fair and Without Respect Of Persons. The cutter could only take your power of self control if you allow your fear of not getting an entitlement, consume you. Something that could have been done, that always throws the "offender" off is truth. You could say, "Sir, are you trying to use your reputation as a public official to gain access to tickets without paying the price we, in this line, have all paid?" That question, renders him defenseless, unless, he is. Then, natural consequences will get him in line, and he won't forget you. Powerful people are not the ones on the board. They are the ones who are fully autonomous, walking in peace, and dancing with great joy. Dontchya want that for your children? Then determine today, not to be their boss, but their teacher, living by example and providing them with tools to take on the enemy of their soul....fear.