GETTING IT STRAIGHT

Dry river bank (google)

         Just before I left for Restoration Village, God showed me a dry, withered stump, right by the River of Life. I bowed down next to the stump and in my heart, asked the question, "How?" The Spirit answered, "The root system is clogged up with debris and the River can not run through the system...it trickles." I had no idea, that that stump was...me...not Lee. How could I be completely restored, but dry to the point of life being completely without nutrients? This has been the longest, most winding, unfolding journey one could ever embark upon...never finished.
        What was restored in me was the splintered parts of my emotional being. They were far from being healthy, but they were all a part of the stump...no more lumps on the outside. Then, when I was at Restoration Village, the Spirit of God delivered me from 4 demonic attachments (Pride/Deceit and Lust/Shame). They are sets of twins who work together to keep the individual ensnared...like the belief that Christians can't have demons...to admit you have some nullifies the idea that you are "christian." By the time I left there to come to this home, I was ready for intense training. The love that "Mama God" showed me through David and Beverly, invited me to open my heart to God through relationship. No one, except my children, had enjoyed my heart, before then. The core person, Trudy, was hidden in Jesus, since the first time I saw Him at 18 months.
      When I got to this house, on the very first night, a man approached me, wanting to use my phone, and then wanting to enter my home. I had to fight him, in the natural, by calling the police. I didn't know that there was a "Squatter" on my newly acquired territory. His name is Deception. How is it that God can bring me to a home where the sellers paid all my closing costs, even though it appraised for $6,000 less than the asking price, came completely furnished, and I got my earnest money back, but there is NO WAY, that same god can protect me from harm? So, from 2009 to 2014, the Deception grew and took the shape of a man with a Northface jacket on. Why? Because my belief system was in opposition to Truth about my Inheritance and my calling.

Avoidance Walk (google)

       If that wasn't enough, then we had to face that fact that I had never known love, not even at Restoration Village, without Deprivation, twisting the connections. Once I found out that Deprivation has entrance through rape, I was so angry with God....crying "Foul! Not Just!" To that, the Spirit asks me, "Do all have a way of escape?" In hesitation, but assurance, and humility, I had to answer, "Yes, Grace is the Way out for all who will follow." I mourned over that one for a good long while, wondering, then how will I know love? "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus....sweetest name I know...fills my every longing...keeps me singing as I go."
        My goodness, how Jesus showed up, taking me ever deeper into His ocean...every new level requiring the abolition of previously held fears and defense mechanisms. By 2014, I had found freedom from Infirmity, Poverty, and the stresses that bound me to "taking care of self." In September, the Holy Spirit asked me to quit my job at the Revenue Office. I did, and within the first month of being at home, I was completely healed from head to toe. When I asked my angel, "Why can you reach me now but not before?" He answered, "There is no more fear between us."
         I was without a job until May 2015. I was warned before going to work, to be aware of Habit. Man, I was looking for it everywhere except for where it was...in the security of having income. I was so bummed when I was asked to quit again. I didn't respond immediately, and got a ticket for speeding. I wasn't speeding. I knew it was a warning from the Holy Spirit to resign immediately. I did, and God allowed my roommate to take my position within a week. So, that one was a "Getting out of the Way," on purpose, so that God's will could be done.

Straight Road (google)

       Even on that job, I was immediately met with my "insecurities," which I like to call "entanglements." Entanglements are arguments that rise up against you in which there is no way to silence or defend, because they are not true or even logical. So, I avoided the adults and plunged in, heart and soul, with my "charges." The road that emerged out of that Summer Program is life altering. I realized that LOVE is the heart of God and He wants His children free from all fear so that He may enjoy us in our full color. Jesus took our slap so we could have His hug. I had good fruit that emerged out of those relationships, but as for the adults...no one, even asks about me. No one, who works there, full-time, calls me. I made one good, lifetime friend, my brother, Ken. He showed me how to become friends by being a friend.
          So, in the past few months, the Holy Spirit, after clearing the flow of my River from debris, is now identifying where my River bends, and the why. Once you get started on the "Avoidance Path," you can fall into an aimless run, veering the rich, not seeing the powerful, being aloof to petty arguments, etc. The truth is that if we are to follow Jesus, we are to follow Him, even into enemy territory, with our eyes on Him, our spirit at rest in His heart, and our eyes fully open to opportunity. Now that I'm getting a full glimpse of this thing, I can see that I have been avoiding BLESSING. I grew up with a dread of blessing...not wanting to receive anything lest someone be left out and become desirous of anything I have. Yuck! I hate cowardice, and that reeks of it. So, today, I embark on a new journey that is fraught with unknown dangers, where I will be rejected, unwanted, etc...but I will not turn back. I am committed to healing and wholeness, for all who will, to walk in complete health, deliverance, and restoration. TD Jakes said once, that those who are caught up in systems that work and operate on familiarity are not under any obligation to even move toward the idea...there's a way to freedom.......until ONE gets free. I'm free; lets walk together into His Ocean where love is always birthing babies.