COMFORTER LIES

Uncle Tom (google)

     Eddie was a daddy's boy, at least, he wanted to be. He went with his dad everywhere, when Ted would allow him to tag along. Ted was a truck driver. His hours on the road were long and arduous. When he got home, he wanted rest and relaxation, not a yammering kid asking questions, crying, complaining, etc. Ted was never mean to Eddie, in deed, but in time, Eddie knew his dad took no pleasure in being with him.
     Ted had a brother, named Tom. Uncle Tom hung out with Liz and the kids pretty much every day. He was a lot younger than Ted. In fact, he had just graduated high school and was in limbo with future decisions. He continued living with his mother, just down the way, on the same property, and saw it as his personal duty to help Liz with her children while Ted was away.
       Tom was the one who came to take Eddie fishing, walking, riding bikes, etc. If he was going to the store, Tom would pick Eddie up just for the joy of being in his company. Little Eddie began to look at Uncle Tom as the dad he desired. Ted began to see the bond, and felt a tug at his heart, but told himself, "Better stay clear of Liz. That's all I care about." Even though Eddie had a very present dad in body, he was fatherless all the same.
      Eddie loved Spiderman. Spiderman could do anything. The best thing about his hero, he loved to rescue people. Eddie was a tender-hearted boy. Although he would fish with Uncle Tom without a thought for a fish, he would turn into an inconsolable baby when Ted would return from hunting with a rabbit or a deer.  Eddie had a pure heart, one that wished no ill will toward any living thing. Spiderman never hurt anyone, but he sure did give them bad guys their "come uppins." Uncle Tom knew how much Eddie loved Spiderman, so for his 6th birthday, he bought him a Spiderman Comforter. It was bigger than a blanket, soft, and well, comforting.

Spidey (google)

      Throughout the years, the comforter grew worn and tatty. Liz could barely get it away from Eddie twice a year for a good washing. Even, when Eddie left for college, he insisted on bringing "Spidey" with him. Three days before Eddie graduated from college with a degree in Veterinary Science, Uncle Tom was in a head on collision, dying instantly upon impact. Eddie wrapped himself up in "Spidey," and didn't emerge for years.
        As it is with loss, there is a grief cycle to go through. Eddie believed that as long as he had "Spidey," Uncle Tom wasn't gone. Eddie got his degree, obtained a job, floated through life a puff of smoke. Liz was almost concerned about his lack of feeling, but told herself Eddie was ok. After all, for all intents and purpose, he was successful....with home, job, car, nice things...but no friends??? Hmm. People looking on would assume he had tons of friends and close bonds with others,because Eddie was so kind, friendly, and compassionate toward people and pets.
        When Eddie was 28, Liz and Ted went through divorce. All of the kids were grown and gone, leaving an empty nest that no longer brought warmth or comfort. Liz's family lived in the neighboring state, so she packed up and moved closer to her family. Ted sold the home without even considering that Eddie might want the home. The loss broke the dam. Eddie couldn't even remember stepping off the bridge. He came to himself in a hospital bed located in a "Mental Health" facility. He was disgusted with himself and demanded to be discharged, immediately. He was belligerent for two weeks, vacillating between silence and rage.

Love w/o fear (google)

     One day, Eddie's psychiatrist asked a question that took him back to the space that made the dam. He asked, "How do you remember your dad?" Eddie struggled, for what seemed like hours. He couldn't pinpoint who his "DAD" was. His doctor saw him struggling, and asked, "Who is your biological dad?" That was the question that opened up the dilemma. After 3 years of counseling, Eddie laid down "Spidey," and walked away.
          I would love to say that Eddie went on to marry, have several children, etc,, in short, lived happily ever after. However, that would be a worse lie than the comforter Eddie chose to wrap himself up in. The truth is, Eddie had to learn to live with ever changing circumstances without allowing the loss of people and things taking away "self" with their leaving.
          The moral of this story: All comforts are neutral until "meaning" is assigned to them. We dare not assign a meaning that gives inordinate power to inanimate objects or allow the connection with another soul, the right to rip ours of its hinges.