BELIEF'S BABBLING BROOK

Shall I tell of love's journey
And how disappointment waits
    at every low spot
It looks like a brook
Where you can lie on your lawn-chair
    and ponder why things are not

......perfect

I have been in powerful moments
Where only LOVE could benefit
      from the connection
It etches beauty on the heart
Of humanity's core
     so that constant rejection

....shouldn't matter....anymore

Why can't I live in THAT place
And never return to sorrow
     And the despair of never being enough
Someone has it better, circumstantially
While I scrap the riverbed
     To live with the least amount of stuff

....my meager wage can provide

I left the longing lusts long ago 
For the presence of sustaining LOVE
    who picks me up again and again
I do ok, until injustice laughs in my face
Accusing me of being flaky, unsteady
     no appreciation for where I am and where I've been

......I WENT TO HELL

................and I declared, "FORGIVEN!!!!!"

....................................no credit for that............it was LOVE............always LOVE.........

and He will see me to the Ocean, despite all of my babbling in this brook.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-28-2018

WHY WAY

In my younger days
I avoided punishment
  Adjusting actions at authority
Early adulthood came
And I learned, at the bottom
   Behaving badly buys seniority

The triangular system
Plays to the peak
  Coercion cascades continuously
The middle is the best view
But the worst place to be
   Deeding dimes disingenuously

Soaring past....every fake goat 
Hailing intense jealousy
    I made it to KINDNESS
It stuck thick and true
Flowing in spite of all fear
    Letting LOVE light lenses layered
                 by
                       blindness

Finally, my heart landed on
Marriage needing open polished
   Quiet questions quickly
Communication without intimacy
Requesting structured theology
   Under various vials veiling victory

....................UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGG

WHY, WHY, WHY, WHY,WHY
Why am I so weird, wacky, wishful, witty....and a bit wackadoodle??????
    LOVE has transformed my DNA
MY heart can't go any other way
But to the question that separates me
    From the savory soup system

I'm ok with difference...actually, I'm fully alive....in DIFFERENCE

that's WHY I'm this WAY.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-24-2018

Note: I love, love, multi-layered poems, and I can only write them with Jesus leading the way. He knows how to make my heart happy :)

   

    
  

LIVING IN BETWEEN

She closed the book
With the evidence etched on her heart
How can she go forward
Without knowing WHERE to start

Going from this abyss to understanding
He jerked the report out of the doctor's hand
He could be gone today, tomorrow
Without TIME to make a simple plan

Why is SEX so important to being
Can't I just be undetermined
Living....in between...the line
Of knowing and learning

WHO I AM

He passed a mirror and saw his breasts
"If I were a woman It could be expected
Why can't it be in a normal place
Where speaking the condition doesn't get me disrespected?"

She can't unlearn what WISDOM has birthed
Nor can she continue on this path
She will finish the course...in between
Standing strong against fear of wrath

They hate me, my LOVE
Why does my presence bring lack to light
I just wanna be me in every moment
A ray of hope in the thick of night

THAT's WHO I AM

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-21-2018

RADICAL REVIVAL

Summing it Up (google)

     I don't write about thoughts, issues, ideals, very often, but I was moved to do so this morning. I listened to this video and saw, clearly, the struggle. If I were a regular Joe, just watching the video, I would be creeped out, totally. It's just weird, unusual, not explainable. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jB3iBMe7uwc
    After I had my "Come to Jesus Meeting" with Jesus, we had an understanding: No Holy Spirit stuff...Period!!!  My problem with the Pentecostal religion was that in practice, feelings seemed to have the throne rather than TRUTH, unmovable, unshakable TRUTH, that applies to all people, all nations, and all difference. Early on, I decided to fix my eyes on the LIGHT who is TRUTH and He would led me. As He led, I would know HIM and who is on the earth. A full 28 years later, this is what I know.
    Spiritual Movement has nothing to do the 5 senses. As a matter of fact, if it does, it is not from the SPIRIT of TRUTH (https://poetrudy45.blogspot.com/2018/05/universal-laws.html). Movement in the Spiritual realm is fluid, with fear moving through thought and LOVE (Spirit/not spiritual, there's a difference) moving through word (Truth) and deed (Compassion). It has nothing to do with morality, circumstances affecting humanity, etc. God is Spirit, Spirit is LOVE, God is LOVE; therefore, all that is spirit is LOVE oriented. That puts a different spin on things, doesn't it. So, when it comes to the gifts of the spirit, prophecy in particular, why would LOVE take away your power of choice when He sent His only SON to die for your power of choice, if he condones "fortune-telling" in His church? True Prophecy reveals the process of LOVE throughout time. Time is folded, and this is why no "time constraints" can touch spirit. LOVE can not be touched by anything other than hope and it cannot be possessed (Ba'al) or defined. LOVE IS!!! If you need the attributes of LOVE 1 Corinthians 13 is your guide. When LOVE appears, He is identified within the opportunity being provided, by being all of those things at once. Can you see the problem???

Seeing Self in Others (google)

    Even the most spiritually enlightened person can not BE all that LOVE is without being in the continual movement of LOVE. He or she will always err at some point. While I was watching the video, his struggle to do as the Spirit of Truth was leading was obvious, and a bit of a shock for me. I have struggled long and hard with the Spirit of Truth, because I have wanted to KNOW TRUTH, but I wanted TRUTH to serve me. Well, that got me the FIRE, yap He threw me in, and I went through system failure in 2005. All that I held to be true was obliterated and replaced with truth that HE is FIRE.
     This article outlines the history of "Spiritual Revival," and although it is interesting, it does not clearly demark between spirit movement within the spiritual realm and its effect on the natural. The Bible is a SPIRIT book and can not be interpreted naturally. Israel is a SPIRIT nation and is the focal point of world movement. http://patrickmorley.com/blog/2015/6/23/a-brief-history-of-spiritual-revival-and-awakening-in-america. If we ever want revival in these last days, it can NOT be SPIRITUAL in nature. It must be SPIRIT. Can't you see that the LOVE revival has been underway for a least a decade. In the end, the war is between LOVE and fear, and LOVE wins.

Spiritual Warfare (google)

     Let me sum up Spiritual Warfare for you: It is the fight between lies we have given our faith to and the TRUTH of LOVE. Let me give you an example. I believed that Daddy God could and would give me "good things," but I also believed that others could and would take them from me at will. That is why I refused to ask God for children when I was diagnosed with a Fallopian tube disease in 1995. He most certainly would give children to me, then when I was good and attached to them, He would take them from me. My boys spent a year away from me, living with their dad. So, is God a liar for telling me we would never be separated? NO!!! LOVE connections are spirit based and are eternal. That year proved to me that I can trust LOVE, even with my children. Church of God, Body of Christ, we must begin the process of entering in to LOVE. Begin with: Try the reigns of my heart, see if there be any wicked way between us. Love is not a feeling. It is TRUTH between two individuals. See why divorce happens? If there are lies and deceit enthroned on the connection, TRUTH can not abide. If we pray that simple prayer, LOVE will begin the process of bringing lies to the surface. When we see, may Daddy God be the courage to help us face it without judgment of self. May we approach with curiosity and questions. For example, "I am unlovable!" Ask "Is that true? What is the proof that the belief is based in truth? What is the proof that it is based in lies? Where did I first hear it? When did I come to believe it? How is it affecting my life?" The questions and ANSWER goes into the root system and covers it with LOVE. When the Bible says that LOVE covers a multitude of sins," it means that His unfailing LOVE shown through His completed sacrifice has redeemed the territory. Your union with Him will bring deliverance, healing, and restoration. May LOVE win the heart of every person reading this. Amen
     And finally, one more article that will bring some hope: https://www.powerofpositivity.com/6-signs-prove-world-experiencing-spiritual-awakening/

LIAR LAIR

Once, a young woman traveled a path
So tired of darkness and lies
A light flashed in the west
And hope took her by surprise

A voice said, "Never veer to the right or left
Always walk straight and true
The enemy longs to possess your soul
By luring the wicked heart to do

...........WRONG!!!!"

She stopped in her tracks
And sighed with a downward slump
Telling herself there is no light
And she might as well give up

Again it came, she wasn't wrong
And threw herself into a reckless run
She had finally found the eternal light
And darkest night is over...and DONE

........YES! YES! YES!

Trees, lush green trees, and fruit
Just smell the fresh ripe vegetation
Life is beautiful, again
And she began to take sustenance without hesitation

Sweet to the taste, lingering on her tongue
But bitter in her stomach when the chewing was done

A deep, subtle sense of dread began to arise
From the pit of her unhinged soul
It's a trap, promise of light
You FOOL...you will NEVER BE WHOLE!!!

laughter rang out in her head
as she wondered about being dead

Sorrow, such anguish thickened deep and wide
Nowhere to hide in this crazy messed up mind

A thought appeared...how did I get here
An answer set itself on the throne of her heart
"You thought you had the knowledge necessary
To finish any journey you ventured to start"

She asked, "Well, what's wrong with that!?!"
The answer said, "Do you know all that is, was and is to come?"
She rummaged around for any evidence that she might
Until the answer showed her the path she had run

Humbled, and sober-minded by truth
She took answers hand
And walked away with LOVE
And a heart of compassion for herself and her fellow man.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-11-18

Note: Revisiting a place I came out of over 10 years ago. 

DISSECTING DIFFERENCE

Observe, listen, and enter in
Limit your words to concepts that mean
....hope
Moments pass into eons
Waiting for the opportunity to seem
....right

I speak
    leak
      and quickly retreat
To think some more

Once, I expressed anger
And demons were the result
I experienced depression
And was reprimanded for being selfish
I was overwhelmed by suicide
And was given the HOTLINE
I ran into the heart of a man
And was told to get out at once
I lost all that this life could hold
Not even my name, is mine
....and I wonder

While others are dissecting my difference
Shall I give them the outcome needed 
.....for justification of every accusation
Or do I stand strong against the fears
That leer and try to steer my words
.....in the terror of love without error
 ........and continue to be the bearer of GOOD NEWS

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-09-2018

HUNGRY HIPPOS

They sit around a marble table
Eating their crumpets and cakes
Careful to take in the best
And point out every mistake

The fork is loaded with beefy words
And the spoon hoists up thick soup
The main course is delicate and small
While desert perfectly completes the group

But over in the corner, toward the back
Is a wooden table, splintered and broken
Only the servants sit and binge, every night
On the crumbly pieces of hope, thrown out, as a token

........to the wretches

If the roles were reversed, the poor wouldn't eat
They would fast a meal, rather than speak
.........black bean soup

The humbled sit at their table with sober minds
Knowing that circumstances blow in and out like the wind
Once they were rich and famous, and full of life
And now, they are nothing more than servants, once again

The system workers, build their castles
And love to dissect, detect under the need to protect
.......the wretches
But when the day is done, and their race is run
Empty and full are the stomachs of both servant and the elect
......no matter what feeds the appetite

Written by Trudy Schrader on 10-09-2018

FAMILIAR FRIENDS

He sat at the table
Playing cards with friends
Caring for nothing
Just trying to win

She sat on the couch
Giggling with her BFF's
Caring for nothing
Just trying not to be left

.........Alone

He's pumping iron
At the local gym
Caring for nothing
Just trying to trim

.........excess

She's falling from high
For the thrill of the jump
Caring for nothing
Just trying not to bump

.........sharp edges

He stops to see
Something passed by
Trying to care for nothing
But...that, image...stuck in his eye

She gasped for air
Death but a step away
Trying to care for nothing
But....breath...can not stay

.....someONE is walking

He is compelled to follow
She longs to know who let her live
But the familiar friends call out
And both are back...but with a sieve

.....to find TRUTH again

...................but only when needed.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 09-06-2018