I do NOT want to get up
I wanna sit here...in my sorrow
I do NOT, I WILL NOT hope
That things will be better tomorrow
I will not
.....do you HEar me!?!
..............HOPE
Oh, look, she doesn't have a coat
It's freezing outside and I am warm
I don't need this little jacket
I believe this will cover her tiny form
He's hungry, isn't he?
I've bought him food before
Again? even when he's writing his sign
He won't care that he's fed as he walks out that door
I swear if she says one more thing
About how I'm livin' my life
Fine, Jesus, I'll hold my peace
To keep free from stirring up strife
Look at him, he just hurt that child
Look at his heart...break
Daddy, don't you know you value him
With every inconsistency you take
Let me SPEAK, Jesus!
You made me a poet, yet demand I keep silent
Even worse, I can't judge evil
When it is clearly demonstrated in the violent
words and deeds....of others
My LORD, help me, for lacking the compassion
...............a loving mother
Isn't the point of being a mother
The unconditional love she pours into another
You have my heart
I'm sorry for my constant pull
Against everything
You want to rule
.....over
I know and accept your covering
I submit when you pull me to rest
But passion inflames my soul
The moment I lay my head upon your breast
....where I find nourishment for the famished
............and you pour me out as drink offering
Though I hate the constant struggle
I would not want to be anything other than a loving mother
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-27-2018
Thursday, December 27, 2018
Tuesday, December 25, 2018
WEIGHING WORTHY
When you saw that I had words
That were worthy of weight
You decided I was special
With access to the City's gate
When you saw that I survived
Great suffering and pain
You decided to get from me
Whatever you could gain
When you saw that I learned fast
Anything put before my heart
You decided I was the beginning
Of a fresh, from the throne, start
....to your throne
When you saw that doors opened
Outward to my vision
You decided that my God
Could also be YOUR provision
When you saw that I walked in grace
Among the wicked and vile
You decided I had the "stuff"
To help get you through your trials
When you saw that blessings poured
On and around me, from the heavens
You decided that you would get more
If you provided the leaven
...for your kingdom
Oh, but the moment, I looked like failure
And all the blessings were crushed to ashes
You withdrew yourself from the presence
Of my LOVE's necessary lashes
You quickly joined the throng around my tree
And provided the nails that bound me
....to death
I have no comparison for the agony of destruction
And the ripping of the soul from rejection
All are reduced to a mirror in my hand
So that my accusers will experience the power of deflection
This is the problem with worthy
When it lies in the hands of humanity
The height, depth, and breadth of LOVE
Will always be reduced by intelligence to insanity
I admit it!
LOVE has me
I am held captive...in my WILL
I WILL die for LOVE, with LOVE, and in LOVE, with my LOVE, no matter
...............the cost
Only a fool plunges in without weighing
The cost of treasure he wishes to possess
I am a fool above all fools
Because I found that nothing is more pricey than HIS REST
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-25-2018
That were worthy of weight
You decided I was special
With access to the City's gate
When you saw that I survived
Great suffering and pain
You decided to get from me
Whatever you could gain
When you saw that I learned fast
Anything put before my heart
You decided I was the beginning
Of a fresh, from the throne, start
....to your throne
When you saw that doors opened
Outward to my vision
You decided that my God
Could also be YOUR provision
When you saw that I walked in grace
Among the wicked and vile
You decided I had the "stuff"
To help get you through your trials
When you saw that blessings poured
On and around me, from the heavens
You decided that you would get more
If you provided the leaven
...for your kingdom
Oh, but the moment, I looked like failure
And all the blessings were crushed to ashes
You withdrew yourself from the presence
Of my LOVE's necessary lashes
You quickly joined the throng around my tree
And provided the nails that bound me
....to death
I have no comparison for the agony of destruction
And the ripping of the soul from rejection
All are reduced to a mirror in my hand
So that my accusers will experience the power of deflection
This is the problem with worthy
When it lies in the hands of humanity
The height, depth, and breadth of LOVE
Will always be reduced by intelligence to insanity
I admit it!
LOVE has me
I am held captive...in my WILL
I WILL die for LOVE, with LOVE, and in LOVE, with my LOVE, no matter
...............the cost
Only a fool plunges in without weighing
The cost of treasure he wishes to possess
I am a fool above all fools
Because I found that nothing is more pricey than HIS REST
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-25-2018
Monday, December 24, 2018
THE GLIMPSE
Introductions are too timely
I haven't time for quaint talk
Just be who you are
I will watch your walk
Did you see her
She's been in, back to her old ways
Your gift of mercy
Did nothing for how the system preys
It's just the way he is
His mouth is loose and tough
Don't be lookin' for kindness
From one who believes he is more than enough
Searching for outcomes
Have left me bankrupt in reason
But for me to withhold good from another
Is a blatant disregard, and treason
.....against LOVE
Hmmm, well that's interesting
I just saw something, a glimpse
Hard, cold relating isn't welcome
Under the canopy of LOVE's tent
That's it....that's all they know
Pow! Strike! Bang! AND STOP BEING YOU
No wonder their words are venom
And their actions are old, recognizable patterns, in shades of black and blue
How can I be soft
When the frostbite has taken away feeling
And armed soldiers stand guard
Around the last hope of life revealing
LOVE's true nature
Ahhh....yes, patience is the key to the Kingdom
...............and so, I wait.......
..........................for another glimpse.
Written by Trudy on 12-24-2018
I haven't time for quaint talk
Just be who you are
I will watch your walk
Did you see her
She's been in, back to her old ways
Your gift of mercy
Did nothing for how the system preys
It's just the way he is
His mouth is loose and tough
Don't be lookin' for kindness
From one who believes he is more than enough
Searching for outcomes
Have left me bankrupt in reason
But for me to withhold good from another
Is a blatant disregard, and treason
.....against LOVE
Hmmm, well that's interesting
I just saw something, a glimpse
Hard, cold relating isn't welcome
Under the canopy of LOVE's tent
That's it....that's all they know
Pow! Strike! Bang! AND STOP BEING YOU
No wonder their words are venom
And their actions are old, recognizable patterns, in shades of black and blue
How can I be soft
When the frostbite has taken away feeling
And armed soldiers stand guard
Around the last hope of life revealing
LOVE's true nature
Ahhh....yes, patience is the key to the Kingdom
...............and so, I wait.......
..........................for another glimpse.
Written by Trudy on 12-24-2018
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