Two little girls on their way home
One got caught by a grin
The rejected, walked home, alone
While pretty and fast entered sin
A father and son sit at a table
Son is drinking his steal
When confronted with the fact
Money couldn't fix the "reel"
Never home to take up slack
Always at work, serving time
The family fears that the pull of power
Makes him tow the line
So much fun to be enjoyed
Yet she is constantly ducking out
The track marks on her arm
Are strewn about
....a broken body
Don't lie, steal or cheat
That's the rules he preaches
But behind closed doors
Little children believe action teaches
.....deception
Over in the corner
Hunkered in a huddled mass
Is a grown women
Marking her arms with shards of glass
...to bleed
OUT.....OUT I SAY!!!!
.......shhhhhhhhhh!
There is sound...in the back
Be silent so I can hear
The subliminal messages
That regulate my fear
What do I believe about self
And how did I come to take it to heart
I believe I'm ugly, stupid, of no value
..........hopeless
Good things come to others
The ones who have the special gift
Me, I've learned on a fault line
Always on THIS side of the rift
Void, empty, dark, unwanted
This world is cruel and unyielding
But I am no COWARD
Grief has brought me to building
.......a river out of my sorrow
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-26-2019
Note: Until our say and our do match up, subliminal messages put us in a position to be torn asunder. May we work, moment by moment, to hear the lies, compare them to truth, and take back our personal power to be who LOVE has made us to be.
Friday, July 26, 2019
Sunday, July 21, 2019
CLEARANCE RACK
She entered the store
With list in hand
Hating every moment
Knowing no one would understand
Who hates shopping
It is supposed to be fun
But to the clearance girl
Just something else to be done
She carefully went to XL
Knowing nothing would fit
The color would be odd
But she would take what she can get
Maybe she would try again
A credit card would provide choices
But then, she played it out
And succumbed to the voices
.........YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU DESIRE
Settling had always worked
Why would she try a different way
Dressing nice, at this point
Would leave her broke at the end of the day
Sloppy bum, ain't bad, really
Especially for folk, just gettin' by
Life is being lived just fine
Without having to confront THAT particular lie
She walked out of the store
With nothing to account for the trip
So she stopped at the beauty store
To buy bleach for her hairy lip
Who cares that there are stores
Of every kind in this nation
Shopping is torture
When you have no grid for pleasant sensations
.....WORK, WORK, WORK
..............and yet nothing is for YOU!!!!
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-21-2019
Note: My son taught me how to shop yesterday, and we had a wonderful adventure!
With list in hand
Hating every moment
Knowing no one would understand
Who hates shopping
It is supposed to be fun
But to the clearance girl
Just something else to be done
She carefully went to XL
Knowing nothing would fit
The color would be odd
But she would take what she can get
Maybe she would try again
A credit card would provide choices
But then, she played it out
And succumbed to the voices
.........YOU WILL NEVER GET WHAT YOU DESIRE
Settling had always worked
Why would she try a different way
Dressing nice, at this point
Would leave her broke at the end of the day
Sloppy bum, ain't bad, really
Especially for folk, just gettin' by
Life is being lived just fine
Without having to confront THAT particular lie
She walked out of the store
With nothing to account for the trip
So she stopped at the beauty store
To buy bleach for her hairy lip
Who cares that there are stores
Of every kind in this nation
Shopping is torture
When you have no grid for pleasant sensations
.....WORK, WORK, WORK
..............and yet nothing is for YOU!!!!
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-21-2019
Note: My son taught me how to shop yesterday, and we had a wonderful adventure!
Friday, July 19, 2019
FAULT LINE
I never could have predicted
That I would leave in such a way
Circumstances brought me to a place
Where I could no longer stay
The legalistic rules
All of them, hypocritical fools
In all of their getting
They were too stupid to retain
Any measure of learning
For the mentally insane
Justify, justify, justify
Then they have the nerve to testify
.........of God's deliverance
Who needs that crap
When there is life to be livin'
I'll not give one more moment
To eternal grave diggin'
I'm going to run to boat loads of fun
Until I am filled up, good and done
But don't be lookin' for me
To darken a church house door
I'm a sippin' saint
Who won't bow to "law" anymore
But, I'll hold on to what God hates
Surely he'll let me in those pearly gates
............WHAT???
..............................Mama's dead
I can't........................breathe
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-19-2019
Note: This has been the most difficult write of my life, and it is not autobiographical...that's probably why. Anyway, when reading the poem, think about how a fault line works, and hopefully, you will have an earthshaking experience.
That I would leave in such a way
Circumstances brought me to a place
Where I could no longer stay
The legalistic rules
All of them, hypocritical fools
In all of their getting
They were too stupid to retain
Any measure of learning
For the mentally insane
Justify, justify, justify
Then they have the nerve to testify
.........of God's deliverance
Who needs that crap
When there is life to be livin'
I'll not give one more moment
To eternal grave diggin'
I'm going to run to boat loads of fun
Until I am filled up, good and done
But don't be lookin' for me
To darken a church house door
I'm a sippin' saint
Who won't bow to "law" anymore
But, I'll hold on to what God hates
Surely he'll let me in those pearly gates
............WHAT???
..............................Mama's dead
I can't........................breathe
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-19-2019
Note: This has been the most difficult write of my life, and it is not autobiographical...that's probably why. Anyway, when reading the poem, think about how a fault line works, and hopefully, you will have an earthshaking experience.
Thursday, July 18, 2019
BAKING CLASS
They had gathered from all around
With special invitation in hand
No professional was allowed
To take part in this grand
...event
Just your every day, run of the mill
Person without culture or fame
Putting their baking skills to work
In hopes of being named
...winner
As the tickets were gathered
And members were assigned their place
A group of miscreants
Began to protest in disgrace
.........missssssing the mark, \
.............................................entirely!!!
The host announced, "We are here to BAKE
Everything is supplied, with nothing for you to take
Moments and interactions are being considered
For the tastefully sweet and the consistently embittered
Time is wasting, get busy with the mixing
Any mistake in baking, you will need to be fixing
No imperfect bake will be accepted
Patience in love is the key to not be rejected"
BAKE!!!!!!
All the fussing stopped as bakers looked down
Into the empty bowl they'd been given
Several picked up flour and metal tin
To begin the meticulous act of siftin'
...clumps
Yet others looked about for clues
With no skills to draw from their empty well
Recipe books were on the shelf
Along with the instructor, who could already tell
...fear
He wondered about, listening intently
But never invading time or space
He glided about the baking room
With the presence of grace
...everlasting
The first time it happened, everyone stopped
A baker disappeared without a sound
No bake to account for the time in the room
Nor any effort of trying could be found
...in the spot
The instructor said, "No time to waste on wonder
Getting busy baking without the fear of blunder
When time is up and your life here is done
You will give an account of all movement under the sun
The bowl remains untouched without effort or trial
Too afraid of owning fault, so she stood in denial
That she is responsible for her presence in this room
And will give an empty bowl to her bridegroom
BAKE ON, MY CHILDREN, BAKE ON!!!!!
Many baked safe while judging others
Citing that pride would surely make them fail
While others put heart in soul into their dish
Waiting for time to tell
...truth
There were two who spent time with the instructor
Trying to rack up points with their brown noses
They must have gotten pointers, special help
Because every dish, perfectly displayed, like a bouquet of roses
...for a KING!
Then, within moments of each other
The two were led through a secret door
It appeared, as if from nowhere
Then it and them, were seen no more
...gone
......where???
The instructor announced, "Your classmates have moved to a new dimension
Where LOVE can be tested in rooms filled with hate and tension
The others...time ran out...and they are in the in-between
Where they can learn that life is never as is seems"
A student blurted out in disgust, "We are baking LOVE
How trite and cute! I believe I'm done
She threw away her bake and laid down her apron
Trading in her work for a life filled with fun
Learning, ever learning
.....but never coming to understanding
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-18-2019
With special invitation in hand
No professional was allowed
To take part in this grand
...event
Just your every day, run of the mill
Person without culture or fame
Putting their baking skills to work
In hopes of being named
...winner
As the tickets were gathered
And members were assigned their place
A group of miscreants
Began to protest in disgrace
.........missssssing the mark, \
.............................................entirely!!!
The host announced, "We are here to BAKE
Everything is supplied, with nothing for you to take
Moments and interactions are being considered
For the tastefully sweet and the consistently embittered
Time is wasting, get busy with the mixing
Any mistake in baking, you will need to be fixing
No imperfect bake will be accepted
Patience in love is the key to not be rejected"
BAKE!!!!!!
All the fussing stopped as bakers looked down
Into the empty bowl they'd been given
Several picked up flour and metal tin
To begin the meticulous act of siftin'
...clumps
Yet others looked about for clues
With no skills to draw from their empty well
Recipe books were on the shelf
Along with the instructor, who could already tell
...fear
He wondered about, listening intently
But never invading time or space
He glided about the baking room
With the presence of grace
...everlasting
The first time it happened, everyone stopped
A baker disappeared without a sound
No bake to account for the time in the room
Nor any effort of trying could be found
...in the spot
The instructor said, "No time to waste on wonder
Getting busy baking without the fear of blunder
When time is up and your life here is done
You will give an account of all movement under the sun
The bowl remains untouched without effort or trial
Too afraid of owning fault, so she stood in denial
That she is responsible for her presence in this room
And will give an empty bowl to her bridegroom
BAKE ON, MY CHILDREN, BAKE ON!!!!!
Many baked safe while judging others
Citing that pride would surely make them fail
While others put heart in soul into their dish
Waiting for time to tell
...truth
There were two who spent time with the instructor
Trying to rack up points with their brown noses
They must have gotten pointers, special help
Because every dish, perfectly displayed, like a bouquet of roses
...for a KING!
Then, within moments of each other
The two were led through a secret door
It appeared, as if from nowhere
Then it and them, were seen no more
...gone
......where???
The instructor announced, "Your classmates have moved to a new dimension
Where LOVE can be tested in rooms filled with hate and tension
The others...time ran out...and they are in the in-between
Where they can learn that life is never as is seems"
A student blurted out in disgust, "We are baking LOVE
How trite and cute! I believe I'm done
She threw away her bake and laid down her apron
Trading in her work for a life filled with fun
Learning, ever learning
.....but never coming to understanding
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-18-2019
Saturday, July 13, 2019
REMNANTS
Sitting on the front steps of a long porch
In the middle of the deep south
Little Billy looked up at his drunk dad
Hanging on to every word spoken out of his mouth
Leaning into Mama on a church house pew
In the buckle of the Bible belt
Little Hope searched to find the spirit
Everyone said they felt
Laying down atop a backseat of clothes
In the thick of the big city slum
Little Smokey looked for his father
To return from a never ending beer run
Peeking through the hole in the wall
In a place no human should ever live
Little Jezze pushed against contact
With the men who demanded she give
...remnants
Bill gathered himself together
Deciding to see the other side of the world
He vowed to never touch liquor
The day he married "Daddy's Girl"
Hope picked up her religion
And placed it nicely on a shelf
She vowed to never lie
In order to be someone else
Smokey took his opportunity
To leave the slum with pride
He vowed to live out in the open
And never again try to hide
Jezze escaped the world of sin
On a plane headed to the states
She vowed she would never give
To a person she hates
...among the remnants
Funny how circumstances can change
But behaviors bring ya right back
To the place where terror was experienced
In the threads that bind the black
When the weather gets cold
And the heart yearns for the comfort of home
The remnants in the quilt come together
To remind the broken, you are not alone
We try to cut out the dark night
In the sparse light left in the day
Getting so angry with the remnants
For always being in our way
When patterns emerge into images
On the face of Grand-mama's quilt
Let the need for belonging
Shed the unwanted guilt
....of cleaving to the remnants
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-13-2019
In the middle of the deep south
Little Billy looked up at his drunk dad
Hanging on to every word spoken out of his mouth
Leaning into Mama on a church house pew
In the buckle of the Bible belt
Little Hope searched to find the spirit
Everyone said they felt
Laying down atop a backseat of clothes
In the thick of the big city slum
Little Smokey looked for his father
To return from a never ending beer run
Peeking through the hole in the wall
In a place no human should ever live
Little Jezze pushed against contact
With the men who demanded she give
...remnants
Bill gathered himself together
Deciding to see the other side of the world
He vowed to never touch liquor
The day he married "Daddy's Girl"
Hope picked up her religion
And placed it nicely on a shelf
She vowed to never lie
In order to be someone else
Smokey took his opportunity
To leave the slum with pride
He vowed to live out in the open
And never again try to hide
Jezze escaped the world of sin
On a plane headed to the states
She vowed she would never give
To a person she hates
...among the remnants
Funny how circumstances can change
But behaviors bring ya right back
To the place where terror was experienced
In the threads that bind the black
When the weather gets cold
And the heart yearns for the comfort of home
The remnants in the quilt come together
To remind the broken, you are not alone
We try to cut out the dark night
In the sparse light left in the day
Getting so angry with the remnants
For always being in our way
When patterns emerge into images
On the face of Grand-mama's quilt
Let the need for belonging
Shed the unwanted guilt
....of cleaving to the remnants
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-13-2019
Friday, July 12, 2019
BEING
Underground, its hard to see
What kind of thing one could be
All the stretching and tearing
With the sun, sometimes, glaring
...its light
.........on tender eyes
In the dark, matter becomes weighted
When WAY can NOT be anticipated
That's when vibrations cluster
Around reason, to filibuster
...for voice
.........to push BEING into choice
Edges and corners are never safe
Only experienced by the stupid and the brave
Best to reside in a circular clump
Where time and space gather to dump
...lack
........skirted in lattice black
BEING is most difficult when one is seeing
Who, what, and where others are agreeing
Being neither here nor there
But in the middle night....WHERE....light cares
...about movement
...........and the BEING's improvement
....????
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-12-2019
Note: I'm always amazed when I ask a question, and without expectation, one answers in a way, that identifies the maturation of the soul. It never gets old, and always gives me the direction I need in prayers for that soul.
What kind of thing one could be
All the stretching and tearing
With the sun, sometimes, glaring
...its light
.........on tender eyes
In the dark, matter becomes weighted
When WAY can NOT be anticipated
That's when vibrations cluster
Around reason, to filibuster
...for voice
.........to push BEING into choice
Edges and corners are never safe
Only experienced by the stupid and the brave
Best to reside in a circular clump
Where time and space gather to dump
...lack
........skirted in lattice black
BEING is most difficult when one is seeing
Who, what, and where others are agreeing
Being neither here nor there
But in the middle night....WHERE....light cares
...about movement
...........and the BEING's improvement
....????
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-12-2019
Note: I'm always amazed when I ask a question, and without expectation, one answers in a way, that identifies the maturation of the soul. It never gets old, and always gives me the direction I need in prayers for that soul.
Thursday, July 4, 2019
CHILDREN OF CONVENIENCE
It is not how they come into the world
It's how they turn out
Raising responsible, great achievers
Is what good parenting is all about
No one wants a lazy child
Playing video games all the day long
They want a well rounded sports minded
Player, who knows how to fit in, belong
....but, only, as a leader
The losers can be followers
But a child who swells a parents heart
Is the dreamer, visionary
Who works hard to set himself apart
Too many average Joe's out there
Living week by week
No savings or long term goals
Just enough earnings to seal the leaks
...in holey pockets
Fame isn't as important
As a name that is respected and known
And a nice big farm is needed
To display all the great seeds that have been sown
In fertile, top of the line ground
No barren land to furrow in vain
Some miracle grow is nice
To maximize the gain
...without killing self
If you do everything right
Grandchildren will play in your plantation yard
While you swing on the front porch
With the absolute proof, you worked hard
Making a life of ease and peace
Health, wealth and family to crown your head
Never once considering
The children are only playing nice, til you're dead
....and they can get their reward
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-04-2019
It's how they turn out
Raising responsible, great achievers
Is what good parenting is all about
No one wants a lazy child
Playing video games all the day long
They want a well rounded sports minded
Player, who knows how to fit in, belong
....but, only, as a leader
The losers can be followers
But a child who swells a parents heart
Is the dreamer, visionary
Who works hard to set himself apart
Too many average Joe's out there
Living week by week
No savings or long term goals
Just enough earnings to seal the leaks
...in holey pockets
Fame isn't as important
As a name that is respected and known
And a nice big farm is needed
To display all the great seeds that have been sown
In fertile, top of the line ground
No barren land to furrow in vain
Some miracle grow is nice
To maximize the gain
...without killing self
If you do everything right
Grandchildren will play in your plantation yard
While you swing on the front porch
With the absolute proof, you worked hard
Making a life of ease and peace
Health, wealth and family to crown your head
Never once considering
The children are only playing nice, til you're dead
....and they can get their reward
Written by Trudy Schrader on 07-04-2019
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