KNOW YOUR CHILD

I love this car (google)

     I grew up in the era where every car was a standard vehicle, least wise in AR, and if you wanted one of the new newfangled automatic cars, that would be about 2 to 3 grand more. Don't even get me started on air conditioning. When I bought my first car in 1987, I cared nothing about the make, the model, the color, the xtras. I was getting a car....with wheels that drove me out of my little podunk town, and that's all a 17 year old could ask for. On my way to work, I would listen to Mahalia Jackson and others on the gospel station, AM radio, that is.
     First thing I did, when I finished my studies, in preparation for student teaching, was go trade in that perfectly good car, for a brand new 1992 Metro Geo, blue, standard gear, payments $171.17 monthly. See, I knew how to build credit. That old car gave me a great start, and I thought by buying the Geo that I was doing everything right, making necessary steps in becoming "successful." Definitions. I swear, we live our lives in a box of definitions, made with our hands, from our own experiences and the fruit we gleaned in the process. Although we have ample opportunity to live outside of the context of our definitions, we find the box, familiar, comfortable, and not at all challenging....so we sleep.
     Unfortunately, many of us approach parenting with the same attitude. Our desires, our tried and true desires, this is me, desires, are no where to be found. Instead, we try to convince our children that the box is necessary, and well, you can't really hug mommy and daddy that often cause, it's uncomfortable, weird, and well, it's more important to be in a box of behaviors where you are safe from the evil in this world, than to be "self." Who bought that tub of lard? I didn't!

The PRNDL of  Automatic (google)

     Cars have been my thing. Very strange, because I'm not like a car person who really gets into knowing them, fixing them, driving them, etc. It's just that right behaviors got me into a paid white 2001 van....can't remember the make and model. It was paid in full, just had gotten the air conditioner fixed and was going to get some tires, when out of nowhere, I got the opportunity to trade that car in for a 2007 Ford Taurus with payments only being $191 monthly, and I would have it paid off in two years. I had 5 payments left, when fear, literally, ate me for dinner. From 2010 to 2011, I traded in cars 6 times. So, its no surprise that I have no car in 2015. The 2013 Dodge Avenger was THE car I always wanted, and got to have for 9 months. My baby, if you will.
      Children are like cars. Some are standards( extroverts)  and some are automatic (introverts). As genetics go, if you're a FORD family, pretty much everyone is a FORD, unless one goes rogue and insists upon being a CHEVY. There is no right way to build a car, but you can definitely have standards, and you most assuredly, need to know your car. In the Bible, we are told in Proverbs 22:6, "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." What it means, is to KNOW your child. Can you imagine getting into an automatic car and trying to drive it like a standard? You wouldn't have a working car for long, and you would most certainly, have a broken child.

Standard vs Automatic (google)

If you haven't done so, you can go on line, here's a link for the MBTI for children. I allowed my kids to take it when they were 10 and 8, and they haven't changed. It's pretty well, on point, for helping you know your child. It just a wonderful tool of discovery. http://www.parentingbytemperament.com/  My boys and I had a great conversation, following it. I have one of each, and I get so much joy out of talking with my boys. Every once in a while, I get to glance into the engine and see how their car functions. Good stuff to know. I mean, you wouldn't want to put automatic transmission fluid in a standard, right? So, what you are actually doing in parenting, is finding responses that adequately meet the needs of your children.
      For example, one of my boys is a kinesthetic learner. I found out, early on, that taking him into a new environment where there would be more than 5 or 6 strangers, was overwhelming for him. If all your senses were engaged in the learning experience and you had all that stimulus coming from all directions and you were less than 2, dontchya think you'd be overwhelmed too? So, I decided that when I had to go to the WIC office or the Revenue Office, the boys would stay with Lee or grandparents. When they got to be 3 and 5, I took a backpack full of their favorite toys they weren't allowed to have until times of great challenge, food, drink, coloring books, etc. I don't know about you, but my heart as a parent is to say "Yes!" almost always, and "No!" rarely. I save that word to protect from danger.

Some Cool Parenting (google)

      I love watching videos of parenting and children on YouTube; however, more often than not, I find myself getting very upset with the parents who find it acceptable to tape an intimate moment, such as discipline, or more desirable to get and post a cute video of their child rather than playing with them.....and no one knows. If you are a parent with children who BEHAVE, hmmm, you might buckle your seat belt, cause the next part of the journey, where they can drive their car wherever the hell the want, that's where they will head....desire lives there, and no one there is afraid of it, it's sought after and exploited. If you are a parent with children who DON'T BEHAVE, well, you might actually have a better deal. No, you won't see your kids get the awards, the kudos, the success, the good life, the American Dream, but at least the behaviors will lead you right to the broken part, and you could get the chance to repair it. True parenting is engaging the heart of your children. If you are always going your way to uninteresting places, and you never even look in the direction of your children, what are the chances that they will get the message, "I am here for you," and believe your intentions? Even if your children want to argue, do not see it as "I must show them THE WAY!" Instead, listen carefully with the heart, "I must KNOW THE WAY to their heart."