The dry desert heat
Don't pay attention to sorrow
"My throat burns, my Love"
"Focus, my child, you'll see tomorrow"
Not another day, please, no more
No relief for my chief of injustice
Moment after moment
They pounce, pull, and try to bust us up
"Your LOVE is wrong...
Your LOVE fails...
Your LOVE has no salvation
Your LOVE has no healing....
He's the ONE who is always stealing
our...precious!"
"My LOVE, I can take the heat
The parched tongue, the rattle in my chest
But for your LOVE to have surrounded
The worst with your best,
and the only WORD...I hear....
is..........FAILURE......."
"In spite of all the wrong
The seeds have been planted, watered, and sheltered
Fruit will be harvested in season
No reason to leave in grief
No noose of shame around your neck
Drink in the desert, from the well of living water
Focus on seeing me....face to face
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-28-2017
Thursday, December 28, 2017
Saturday, December 23, 2017
PROVISION DIVISION
He came to us as a pauper
With no money or home to His name
A borrowed manger as a bed
Our God without royalty or fame
King of Kings and Lord of Lords
Should have riches untold
He should bring to humanity
Limitless jewels and pots of gold
He should be on a White Horse
With throngs of soldiers of might and power
To deliver the helpless and orphaned
From the claws of injustice scraping to devour
....children
An infant, a baby, is our king
Even worse, hidden from the world's authority
Didn't God know how the system works
No way can you win if you are part of the minority
He came up just like any other child
Going through the process of growth
Showing through example
You can LOVE or be rich, but not both
Even on the Cross, as He gave His life
A broken heart gushing out His side
Believers disappointed that He was just a man
And the hoped for deliverance, He didn't provide
When He resurrected and heart's began to change
He dined with friends and family with the new life in Him, gained
Yet, still misunderstood....
Today, we are not any different
Hoping for our Savior to appear and take us to a party in the sky
As a parent, would we want our children
To take our provision, judge us with division, then ask us why
....our sacrifice didn't measure up to THE IMAGE...
His lavish sacrifice is more than enough for me.
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-23-2017
Note: Thank God, He went before me, showed me what I would have to overcome, which gives me the hope I need to hold on and continue to wait, with passion, for His soon return.
With no money or home to His name
A borrowed manger as a bed
Our God without royalty or fame
King of Kings and Lord of Lords
Should have riches untold
He should bring to humanity
Limitless jewels and pots of gold
He should be on a White Horse
With throngs of soldiers of might and power
To deliver the helpless and orphaned
From the claws of injustice scraping to devour
....children
An infant, a baby, is our king
Even worse, hidden from the world's authority
Didn't God know how the system works
No way can you win if you are part of the minority
He came up just like any other child
Going through the process of growth
Showing through example
You can LOVE or be rich, but not both
Even on the Cross, as He gave His life
A broken heart gushing out His side
Believers disappointed that He was just a man
And the hoped for deliverance, He didn't provide
When He resurrected and heart's began to change
He dined with friends and family with the new life in Him, gained
Yet, still misunderstood....
Today, we are not any different
Hoping for our Savior to appear and take us to a party in the sky
As a parent, would we want our children
To take our provision, judge us with division, then ask us why
....our sacrifice didn't measure up to THE IMAGE...
His lavish sacrifice is more than enough for me.
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-23-2017
Note: Thank God, He went before me, showed me what I would have to overcome, which gives me the hope I need to hold on and continue to wait, with passion, for His soon return.
CLANGING CHRISTMAS
There's a reason
I can't be happy in this season
While others greatest wishes come true
Another year has brought me nothing new
Oh, don't get me wrong
I'll participate and play along
That my world is fine and dandy
Baking up cookies and candy
But the truth has a chock hold around my neck
Not one person will care to check
If I'm happy
If sad, sorrowful, glad....
........or still freakin' grieving
I know what they think
Their 'get over it' words, clink
Against my armor
Oh, are you surprised at the noise
Did you expect me to bring toys
....to the party
At least if I cause a clammer
Someone might ask me what's the matter
Oh, and when they do....
I know just how to work it
My sarcastic humor will bring them low
Their super fake attitude
Will crack and show
....red hot anger
I know the grieving process
And I know where I am stuck
Down in this tar pit
Of black filthy muck
At least with the undeniable presence
Surrounding my very essence
They will have to acknowledge...me
I'm not stupid, I'm ugly at best
But I will not get cleaned up, so they can rest
In smoothing over my grief-stricken reality
I have lost....everything....and no one cares to see
They just want me to be...free
Flying like a bird without a care
But my heart, yes, I still have one
Hangs on with every ounce of hope
That maybe, just maybe, my living isn't done
If I can do just one good thing
Before I pack up and go
Then I might be willing
To stop allowing my anger to blow
In every direction
Toward those who demand perfection
In order to love me
I know it's hidden
That I am guilt-ridden
By the way I deal with my reality
....please, don't leave me
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-23-2017
Note: This is written for the multitude who are grieving and not fitting in to the festivities. You are not alone, and LOVE never fails....because if HE did, I would give up hope.
I can't be happy in this season
While others greatest wishes come true
Another year has brought me nothing new
Oh, don't get me wrong
I'll participate and play along
That my world is fine and dandy
Baking up cookies and candy
But the truth has a chock hold around my neck
Not one person will care to check
If I'm happy
If sad, sorrowful, glad....
........or still freakin' grieving
I know what they think
Their 'get over it' words, clink
Against my armor
Oh, are you surprised at the noise
Did you expect me to bring toys
....to the party
At least if I cause a clammer
Someone might ask me what's the matter
Oh, and when they do....
I know just how to work it
My sarcastic humor will bring them low
Their super fake attitude
Will crack and show
....red hot anger
I know the grieving process
And I know where I am stuck
Down in this tar pit
Of black filthy muck
At least with the undeniable presence
Surrounding my very essence
They will have to acknowledge...me
I'm not stupid, I'm ugly at best
But I will not get cleaned up, so they can rest
In smoothing over my grief-stricken reality
I have lost....everything....and no one cares to see
They just want me to be...free
Flying like a bird without a care
But my heart, yes, I still have one
Hangs on with every ounce of hope
That maybe, just maybe, my living isn't done
If I can do just one good thing
Before I pack up and go
Then I might be willing
To stop allowing my anger to blow
In every direction
Toward those who demand perfection
In order to love me
I know it's hidden
That I am guilt-ridden
By the way I deal with my reality
....please, don't leave me
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-23-2017
Note: This is written for the multitude who are grieving and not fitting in to the festivities. You are not alone, and LOVE never fails....because if HE did, I would give up hope.
Wednesday, December 20, 2017
HEALING GARDENS: Marriage (6)
In the dead of night
He swept, gently, into my garden
His fragrance was
~Manna~
I invited Him in
As the Healing Angels
Sung "Holy, HOLY...
is the LORD God Almighty."
He laid out peace in my bed
And covered my naked head
Claiming me as His own
He put a ring on my finger
Told me He could not linger
He was leaving to build me a home
I was given a task for the end of time
To expose and conquer fears that twist and bind
Me to this world
A promise to return and a passion for my love
With Heavenly Host from above
To aid His little girl
LOVE NEVER FAILS
As He left, a seal was placed on my door
So that I could work in peace, digging deep into my garden floor
...seriously!
Why would I believe I'm ugly
Why would I believe I'm evil
I'm wrong
I caused good men to do wicked things
I'm undesirable
No ONE wants me
I'm rejected, despised
I'm......alone
I'm, unlovable
I lie on the dirt
Deep in my wide pit
Crying tears of sorrow
In a tired, angry fit
My love came, and found me
Reaching down to lift me out
Gave me a seed of "hope"
As I surrendered to Him, my doubt
We planted the seed together
And filled the pit with soil
He took out a lamp
And poured out His oil
Over the seed, and over me
Saying, "Never give up hope."
My Love is made to soar
Never grovel and grope
....for answers
Many visits, from my Love
Came through the years of preparation
Careful to give oil and fire
To build my anticipation
....for our marriage
Why would anyone be married to LOVE
There is no natural reason
His ways are far above mine
In all times and in every season
During the work in the Healing Gardens
I came to understand
That fear claimed Eden's Land
And LOVE has won it back, in me
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-20-2017
He swept, gently, into my garden
His fragrance was
~Manna~
I invited Him in
As the Healing Angels
Sung "Holy, HOLY...
is the LORD God Almighty."
He laid out peace in my bed
And covered my naked head
Claiming me as His own
He put a ring on my finger
Told me He could not linger
He was leaving to build me a home
I was given a task for the end of time
To expose and conquer fears that twist and bind
Me to this world
A promise to return and a passion for my love
With Heavenly Host from above
To aid His little girl
LOVE NEVER FAILS
As He left, a seal was placed on my door
So that I could work in peace, digging deep into my garden floor
...seriously!
Why would I believe I'm ugly
Why would I believe I'm evil
I'm wrong
I caused good men to do wicked things
I'm undesirable
No ONE wants me
I'm rejected, despised
I'm......alone
I'm, unlovable
I lie on the dirt
Deep in my wide pit
Crying tears of sorrow
In a tired, angry fit
My love came, and found me
Reaching down to lift me out
Gave me a seed of "hope"
As I surrendered to Him, my doubt
We planted the seed together
And filled the pit with soil
He took out a lamp
And poured out His oil
Over the seed, and over me
Saying, "Never give up hope."
My Love is made to soar
Never grovel and grope
....for answers
Many visits, from my Love
Came through the years of preparation
Careful to give oil and fire
To build my anticipation
....for our marriage
Why would anyone be married to LOVE
There is no natural reason
His ways are far above mine
In all times and in every season
During the work in the Healing Gardens
I came to understand
That fear claimed Eden's Land
And LOVE has won it back, in me
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-20-2017
Tuesday, December 19, 2017
HEALING GARDENS: Unpacking Company (5)
With the area
Cleaned and swept
They came to see
How good company is kept
With drinks and cheese
Fruit and veggies to boot
Pull up a chair
And let's count our loot
....hold up...
Something's....off
My heart isn't connecting
...no, is resisting
The company at my table
"Oh, now, who are you
To judge company
Not nice to label...
.....your friends."
"My Love, I call upon your name
See if there be any wicked way between us
Reveal any lies my faith buys
And line up my WORD and DEED with what God loves."
Suddenly, LIGHT shone upon my guests
And I saw them as hindrances to my quest
I called them out, by name
Pride, Deceit, Lust and Shame
.....be gone...I don't need you anymore....and never come back
They left my garden
The table and chairs, disappeared
I was left in silence
With my inadequacies and fear
....of being noone
It took forever to SEE
The company I used for warmth and cover
Guarding against my vulnerablity
Of being discovered
~as a fraud~
The more I walked with Love
The more pronounced was the rejection
Of every satisfaction
I gave myself in a fear connection
Reciprocity Velocity
I'm entitled to all I could possibly desire
Scratching the allergic itch
That fuels the passion to a roaring fire
After all the company was unpacked
Revealed lies that I could ever lack
....Jesus took me underground
I saw the gray roots
Feeding the poisonous fruit
....as Love opened up the well He found
....."Spring up ole well, within my soul..."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-19-2017
Cleaned and swept
They came to see
How good company is kept
With drinks and cheese
Fruit and veggies to boot
Pull up a chair
And let's count our loot
....hold up...
Something's....off
My heart isn't connecting
...no, is resisting
The company at my table
"Oh, now, who are you
To judge company
Not nice to label...
.....your friends."
"My Love, I call upon your name
See if there be any wicked way between us
Reveal any lies my faith buys
And line up my WORD and DEED with what God loves."
Suddenly, LIGHT shone upon my guests
And I saw them as hindrances to my quest
I called them out, by name
Pride, Deceit, Lust and Shame
.....be gone...I don't need you anymore....and never come back
They left my garden
The table and chairs, disappeared
I was left in silence
With my inadequacies and fear
....of being noone
It took forever to SEE
The company I used for warmth and cover
Guarding against my vulnerablity
Of being discovered
~as a fraud~
The more I walked with Love
The more pronounced was the rejection
Of every satisfaction
I gave myself in a fear connection
Reciprocity Velocity
I'm entitled to all I could possibly desire
Scratching the allergic itch
That fuels the passion to a roaring fire
After all the company was unpacked
Revealed lies that I could ever lack
....Jesus took me underground
I saw the gray roots
Feeding the poisonous fruit
....as Love opened up the well He found
....."Spring up ole well, within my soul..."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-19-2017
Monday, December 18, 2017
HEALING GARDENS: Fuel for the Fire (4)
The passage of time
Is inconsequential
'Til Revelation appears
And it becomes providential
~uncovering Truth~
The realization
That hidden treasures
Lie just beneath the ground
While vibrations yield
To weights and meaures
In the making of sound
I'm so weary
I just want the work over and done
The church talks of a Rapture
I'd really like Him to come
...and put an end to this fruitless work
Suddenly, FIRE
FIRE upon my land
I'm going to die...here...
I don't understand
My Lord, rescue me
Please, don't let me burn
I've suffered enough
Give someone else a turn
"My child, this is not a suffering contest
The fire will purify the ground
It will reveal the value
Of the treasures you have found"
During the fire
Anger raged a war
Against all who
Used my land for
~self~
My breathe of life
Filled with ash and smoke
My throat closed
As I allowed death to choke
....out all desire...to live
Shhhhhhh...... silence.....deafening, reverberations from the lonely vibrations
of.................................entitlements, I need, I want, I should have
nothing....
Settled and darkened by the fire
The rain began to fall upon my field of desire
The fertilizer was delivered
And through the son, my heart quivered
Life had returned
All of my hope
Anchored in wavering nouns
Til the Fire of Heaven
Consumed my ground
My position is set
The lifelong work has begun
I will work my resurrected garden
'Til my Love speaks, "Your work is done."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-18-2017
Note: The Fire is system failure. It reveals where your anchor lies. Mine was anchored in a definition of 'Trust' that could never be achieved, not humanly possible to be infallible. So, I had to redefine 'Trust,' and my life was reordered around the new definition. There are so many breakthroughs that are possible if each one of us will take the time to see what we believe, is it based in lies/truth, and is it movable. Love never fails, it's worth anchoring hope in Love.
Is inconsequential
'Til Revelation appears
And it becomes providential
~uncovering Truth~
The realization
That hidden treasures
Lie just beneath the ground
While vibrations yield
To weights and meaures
In the making of sound
I'm so weary
I just want the work over and done
The church talks of a Rapture
I'd really like Him to come
...and put an end to this fruitless work
Suddenly, FIRE
FIRE upon my land
I'm going to die...here...
I don't understand
My Lord, rescue me
Please, don't let me burn
I've suffered enough
Give someone else a turn
"My child, this is not a suffering contest
The fire will purify the ground
It will reveal the value
Of the treasures you have found"
During the fire
Anger raged a war
Against all who
Used my land for
~self~
My breathe of life
Filled with ash and smoke
My throat closed
As I allowed death to choke
....out all desire...to live
Shhhhhhh...... silence.....deafening, reverberations from the lonely vibrations
of.................................entitlements, I need, I want, I should have
nothing....
Settled and darkened by the fire
The rain began to fall upon my field of desire
The fertilizer was delivered
And through the son, my heart quivered
Life had returned
All of my hope
Anchored in wavering nouns
Til the Fire of Heaven
Consumed my ground
My position is set
The lifelong work has begun
I will work my resurrected garden
'Til my Love speaks, "Your work is done."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-18-2017
Note: The Fire is system failure. It reveals where your anchor lies. Mine was anchored in a definition of 'Trust' that could never be achieved, not humanly possible to be infallible. So, I had to redefine 'Trust,' and my life was reordered around the new definition. There are so many breakthroughs that are possible if each one of us will take the time to see what we believe, is it based in lies/truth, and is it movable. Love never fails, it's worth anchoring hope in Love.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
HEALING GARDENS:The Break Up (3)
Freedom
How do I free up the land
I haven't any tools
To hold in my hand
Can't you just...
Wave a magic wand
Speak one of those WORDS
My salvation is founded on...
Awww....now we come to it...WORD
How do you suppose I was concieved
Shall Daddy God have natural seed
When it is written, GOD IS SPIRIT
And those who worship Him must worship Him
........in SPIRIT......and TRUTH
Meaning, leaning, gleaning, and all this confounded cleaning....
Speak clearly, my love
How shall I proceed
With snakes,spiders, and worms
Trying to take the lead
I'm tired before I've begun
Isn't it enough to see the SON
To feel the rain on my skin
Being naked to let it in
Little One, shall a surgeon
Crack open a head
Dive in to relieve
The condition of being dead
Pointless endeavors without patience
Always lead to running around a bush
Keeping ever busy
Bowing down to the pull and push
Patience is the key to love
The scalpel is your sword
The War is won
And the Battle is the Lord's
Oh, please, stop with the Jesus Mumbo Jumbo
None of that has made a dent in this mess
............NO!.....your position.......is the problem
"My God, have mercy on me....a sinner....I'm so afraid!"
Am I magic, my sweet child
How did I bring you to the ground
It was WORD spoken over territory
And your humility has been found
Do you see that your position
Puts you in intimate contact with connection
Where you can cut with patience
And embrace your rejection
But my Love, I've been rejected my whole life
By those who used me up and spit me out
Who, in their right mind
Would embrace rejection to show they are devout
Even down there, you still can't see
YOU aren't at the center of this work
Patience is the key to LOVE
Cutting every connection where FEAR lurks
Fear is no longer part of your life
As you have committed to LOVE
Nothing or noone
Can proceed, come before, be above
Wisdom is your authority
WORD is your only tool
Faith is your currency
And LOVE is who RULES
As LOVE's presence
Seemingly left me alone
I reminded myself
That LOVE is on my throne
So I took my tool
And began to speak over the black connection
Not allowing fear to speak
Through other's confession
I began to walk away.....
The gray matter thinned
As I took away fear's couch
With no place to lay
Fear's stance became a slouch
Courage, my little girl, gather your courage
All it took was experiencing the change
I began to allow LOVE to embody His beautiful name
"Help me, my Love, break up the fallow ground
Let the light of your Truth be the vibration that resounds
............in my garden."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-17-2017
How do I free up the land
I haven't any tools
To hold in my hand
Can't you just...
Wave a magic wand
Speak one of those WORDS
My salvation is founded on...
Awww....now we come to it...WORD
How do you suppose I was concieved
Shall Daddy God have natural seed
When it is written, GOD IS SPIRIT
And those who worship Him must worship Him
........in SPIRIT......and TRUTH
Meaning, leaning, gleaning, and all this confounded cleaning....
Speak clearly, my love
How shall I proceed
With snakes,spiders, and worms
Trying to take the lead
I'm tired before I've begun
Isn't it enough to see the SON
To feel the rain on my skin
Being naked to let it in
Little One, shall a surgeon
Crack open a head
Dive in to relieve
The condition of being dead
Pointless endeavors without patience
Always lead to running around a bush
Keeping ever busy
Bowing down to the pull and push
Patience is the key to love
The scalpel is your sword
The War is won
And the Battle is the Lord's
Oh, please, stop with the Jesus Mumbo Jumbo
None of that has made a dent in this mess
............NO!.....your position.......is the problem
"My God, have mercy on me....a sinner....I'm so afraid!"
Am I magic, my sweet child
How did I bring you to the ground
It was WORD spoken over territory
And your humility has been found
Do you see that your position
Puts you in intimate contact with connection
Where you can cut with patience
And embrace your rejection
But my Love, I've been rejected my whole life
By those who used me up and spit me out
Who, in their right mind
Would embrace rejection to show they are devout
Even down there, you still can't see
YOU aren't at the center of this work
Patience is the key to LOVE
Cutting every connection where FEAR lurks
Fear is no longer part of your life
As you have committed to LOVE
Nothing or noone
Can proceed, come before, be above
Wisdom is your authority
WORD is your only tool
Faith is your currency
And LOVE is who RULES
As LOVE's presence
Seemingly left me alone
I reminded myself
That LOVE is on my throne
So I took my tool
And began to speak over the black connection
Not allowing fear to speak
Through other's confession
I began to walk away.....
The gray matter thinned
As I took away fear's couch
With no place to lay
Fear's stance became a slouch
Courage, my little girl, gather your courage
All it took was experiencing the change
I began to allow LOVE to embody His beautiful name
"Help me, my Love, break up the fallow ground
Let the light of your Truth be the vibration that resounds
............in my garden."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-17-2017
Saturday, December 16, 2017
HEALING GARDENS:Surveying the Land (2)
This...
This can't be my mind
The light is shining
So afraid of what I'll find
It looks daunting...
Is there a beginning, an end
Where do I start
How can I defend
Love led me to the place
Where property lines marked the ground
No way to work the garden
'Til ownership is found
There were dark black vines
Connected to others, outside my lines
I asked my Love, "What could this be?"
He answered, "Connections made without me."
"...so, connections without love
But why are they black?"
"When faith buys fear
It pulls to self what self believes it lacks"
"If I believe I lack for nothing
And you are my provision
Will the connections cease to be
Creating a clearly marked division?"
Light allowed you see
Truth obliterates lies
Love guides your steps
And grace abounds where deception ties
"You are not bound to the land
The land is released to you.
Will you take on the work of gardening
Committing to LOVE, to see it through
Storms, trials, battles,
Disasters, tragedies and grief
Never resting from labor
Or hoping in relief."
"I don't want to, my Lord.
The task threatens to snuff out hope
What if I get the end of my life
And have no outcome to show...
my worth......"
"MY life shows that."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-16-2017
This can't be my mind
The light is shining
So afraid of what I'll find
It looks daunting...
Is there a beginning, an end
Where do I start
How can I defend
Love led me to the place
Where property lines marked the ground
No way to work the garden
'Til ownership is found
There were dark black vines
Connected to others, outside my lines
I asked my Love, "What could this be?"
He answered, "Connections made without me."
"...so, connections without love
But why are they black?"
"When faith buys fear
It pulls to self what self believes it lacks"
"If I believe I lack for nothing
And you are my provision
Will the connections cease to be
Creating a clearly marked division?"
Light allowed you see
Truth obliterates lies
Love guides your steps
And grace abounds where deception ties
"You are not bound to the land
The land is released to you.
Will you take on the work of gardening
Committing to LOVE, to see it through
Storms, trials, battles,
Disasters, tragedies and grief
Never resting from labor
Or hoping in relief."
"I don't want to, my Lord.
The task threatens to snuff out hope
What if I get the end of my life
And have no outcome to show...
my worth......"
"MY life shows that."
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-16-2017
Wednesday, December 13, 2017
HEALING GARDEN:Revelation Station (1)
In the beginning
I walked, choosing my steps
~with Grace~
But one day
My Love, led me
....to a very dark place
"No light! There's no Light!"
I wanted to believe the black
Was a certain sign
That my Love lacked
~compassion~
Love compelled me forward
While fear pulled me back
The war raged
Between TRUTH and fact
Then, finally, I came to it
THE place of my final work
No audiences to please or people to see...me
Just hellacious cutting, while creatures lurk
.....waiting for opportunity....
"No reward! There's no reward, my Lord!"
With no relief in sight
I used my anger
To pierce my night
Swoosh! Clang! Sit! Weep!
Rocks and trees, with no fruit for food
Just rot and muck
With this frustrated mood
After years of work, never letting up
I finally saw the SON break overhead
Love shone on the areas
Where I avoided with dread
"Wolves! Wolves wait for me in the corner!"
Their teeth are sharp for the tear
Love compels me to approach
With my skin completely bare
.....to be eaten...alive....or, maybe, already dead...
"I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of love, joy, and a sound.....mind..."
Oh, my Love, this is my mind
This place of horror,dread, and fear
How did these wolves come to live here
Please give sight to my blind
I saw, for the very first time, the system of fear
And glimpsed the heart of My Love, bringing me here
...led me Lord, I will follow.
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-13-17
I walked, choosing my steps
~with Grace~
But one day
My Love, led me
....to a very dark place
"No light! There's no Light!"
I wanted to believe the black
Was a certain sign
That my Love lacked
~compassion~
Love compelled me forward
While fear pulled me back
The war raged
Between TRUTH and fact
Then, finally, I came to it
THE place of my final work
No audiences to please or people to see...me
Just hellacious cutting, while creatures lurk
.....waiting for opportunity....
"No reward! There's no reward, my Lord!"
With no relief in sight
I used my anger
To pierce my night
Swoosh! Clang! Sit! Weep!
Rocks and trees, with no fruit for food
Just rot and muck
With this frustrated mood
After years of work, never letting up
I finally saw the SON break overhead
Love shone on the areas
Where I avoided with dread
"Wolves! Wolves wait for me in the corner!"
Their teeth are sharp for the tear
Love compels me to approach
With my skin completely bare
.....to be eaten...alive....or, maybe, already dead...
"I have not been given a spirit of fear, but of love, joy, and a sound.....mind..."
Oh, my Love, this is my mind
This place of horror,dread, and fear
How did these wolves come to live here
Please give sight to my blind
I saw, for the very first time, the system of fear
And glimpsed the heart of My Love, bringing me here
...led me Lord, I will follow.
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-13-17
Friday, December 8, 2017
GOING INSIDE...To hide
There he is
Creature so big and tall
But Mama will keep me safe
....from ALL...
I'll just rest
On her breast
Drinking in the elixir of her soul
She loves me
I'm her destiny
Her presence surrounds my hole
His armor
His power lurks overhead
If he touches me
I'll be dead
Mama holds me
On her lap
Her hands stroke my hair
In her eyes
Hope appears
And I no longer care
I'm walking
He's talking
I want my Mama.....
I'm talking
He doesn't hear
He touched me
With his hand...I learned fear
Why do I have a cave
Why does he have a rod
Where is Mama, hope
Who is THIS god
Mama isn't coming
When did she leave...me
I know she hears my screams
But she turns, and I see
....I must hide...inside
Am I a me
Or was I a part of her...shattered soul
Either way
With this dark cave, I'm sentenced to death...
.......nowhere to grow
....................how will I be whole
My company grew, inside
No one likes alone
In the hidden
I've made myself a very nice home
It's a place where all my people hear
They listen to my every command
And they yell at me
When I demand....silence
I've decided, to stay here
And stop hoping for change
Armored men surround me
Some are known, but most are strange
Love can't heal this hole
Don't ask me to know
Men....
Who never care to listen
To little girls who glisten
For them
The call of the Wild.....ahOOOOO!!!!
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-08-2017
Note: This is dedicated to the baby boomers who were forced to marry before their childhood had even begun, motherhood thrusts upon their wombs while they, themselves, called for their mothers. The cry of humanity, know me, hear me, love me, for who I am, not how I can be useful for someone's agenda.
Creature so big and tall
But Mama will keep me safe
....from ALL...
I'll just rest
On her breast
Drinking in the elixir of her soul
She loves me
I'm her destiny
Her presence surrounds my hole
His armor
His power lurks overhead
If he touches me
I'll be dead
Mama holds me
On her lap
Her hands stroke my hair
In her eyes
Hope appears
And I no longer care
I'm walking
He's talking
I want my Mama.....
I'm talking
He doesn't hear
He touched me
With his hand...I learned fear
Why do I have a cave
Why does he have a rod
Where is Mama, hope
Who is THIS god
Mama isn't coming
When did she leave...me
I know she hears my screams
But she turns, and I see
....I must hide...inside
Am I a me
Or was I a part of her...shattered soul
Either way
With this dark cave, I'm sentenced to death...
.......nowhere to grow
....................how will I be whole
My company grew, inside
No one likes alone
In the hidden
I've made myself a very nice home
It's a place where all my people hear
They listen to my every command
And they yell at me
When I demand....silence
I've decided, to stay here
And stop hoping for change
Armored men surround me
Some are known, but most are strange
Love can't heal this hole
Don't ask me to know
Men....
Who never care to listen
To little girls who glisten
For them
The call of the Wild.....ahOOOOO!!!!
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-08-2017
Note: This is dedicated to the baby boomers who were forced to marry before their childhood had even begun, motherhood thrusts upon their wombs while they, themselves, called for their mothers. The cry of humanity, know me, hear me, love me, for who I am, not how I can be useful for someone's agenda.
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