WHEN

When I first beheld my creation
And held you in my arms
I determined I would obliterate
Anything that would try to bring you harm

When I suckled you at my breast
Offering all my love without restraint
I determined I would work to provide
Every need, and your wants without complaint

When you grew your legs with great strength
And I let you go, to run and play
I determined to only guide from the sidelines
And never get in the way

......of growth

When your mind produced thoughts
And I drew in my breath in awe of your beauty
I determined to never lie for vanity's sake
But share hope in truth, the heart of a parent's duty

When I saw you develop in ways
That I could not relate, I kept open the gate
And, I determined that understanding is a bonus
That disequilibrium can never negate

When I saw that you spent less and less time
Wanting, or even enduring my presence
I determined that I would give you space
And not add sugar that puffs up and leavens

....my bread of sorrow

When you looked into my eyes
And saw the power I couldn't see myself
I determined to love you silly
And put the unpleasant experience on a shelf

When I tried to address and disarm your fears
You shooed me away with push of your hand
I determined to let you go your way
And accept that I don't need to understand

When I saw you take courage and dare to express
Self, in a way that was creative and bold
I determined to rejoice in silence
And accept that my meager mite created gold

....when......


Written by Trudy Schrader on 10/05/2019