BOUND FOR GLORY

Centers for Children (google)

     I have two boys. My oldest is a visual/auditory learner, and my youngest is a kinesthetic/visual learner. My oldest had no problem moving from one activity to another, but my youngest, fell apart. I learned to give him three warnings within the last five minutes of the activity, i.e. we are going from here to there in 3 minutes, etc. It helped him to deal with change incrementally. There are learners who crash and burn when you give them the "plan," but will plow through assignments if you just give them one at a time.
     When I was in Kindergarten, my teacher wrote 1 to 100 on the board, and told us we couldn't go to recess until we had copied them on our paper. I burst out crying. When Ms. Usepi came over and inquired, all I could manage was, "I dus can't do it!" I'm kinesthetic too. Knowing that I was not, technically, a "writer" yet, and being required to act as though I was, just way too much to deal with. Apparently, I won her heart, and she was one of my favorite teachers.
     Even back in the 70's, centers were a necessary part of the school day. We had half day Kindergarten which was awesome! My Grandma Raines would come pick me up sometimes. I loved spending time with her and my Mama. I learned more about relationship from them than playing in centers. For those of you who don't know, centers are set up around any given class room. Children take turns moving from one center to another during free time. It helps them not to fixate on one particular project, how to move from loss to gain, cooperate with classmates, use silence to their advantage, etc. The teacher walks around the classroom, carefully listen for any signs of distress.

Field Trip (google)

      Back in the 70's and 80's, field trips were part of the curriculum. They were viewed as a necessary part of any educational system. Learning can not be confined to the classroom. By the time we got to the 90's, we became "enlightened" to the grand goal of making lifetime learners rather than teaching toward "the test." That was short lived, because right when we got there, "No Child Left Behind" arose from the pits of hell. Rather than education thriving with the new found knowledge, all it got was major pruning.
      Both of my boys attended a local middle school that took an overnight trip with 5th graders to a science camp. They had a booklet, classmates, and a camp guide with them to help them locate various plants and animals in nature. So cool! In our day, our science teacher just went to the principal and asked if she could have her classes outside in the shade due to it being such a nice day. The teacher could do that, because the hooligans were already contained in the principal's office.
      Even though I don't teach in a public school, I have worked diligently with my boys and their teachers to forgo the grade and concentrate on the concept. They are in 10th and 8th grade; they are lifetime learners. I love watching them come home totally psyched for what they are learning in school. We are total nerds, always discovering, always learning.
       So, you can imagine my surprise, when God gives me a dream that challenged MY location. He led me to a home that I had been in before. I had secretly longed for it in previous dreams, but shushed my desire. This time, I was in the kitchen when I realized that my boys and their dad were there. I needed a shower, so I took one. Then I began to explore the rooms...my joy becoming full. I went into the final room and heard the voice of my Father say, "It's yours!" Oh, but that isn't all...I got a new car too...a standard. I got into my car and backed into traffic. Any prolific stick driver can shift gears without thinking about it. I backed up, and was putting into first, because that's what you do, but my new car said in a SIRI voice, "Why don't you try third?" I said, "I'm trying...." Just in the nick of time, I got it. I woke up so irritated.

Career Shadowing (google)

      Strange...never said I ain't strange, cause I am weird to the nth degree. When I get irritated, that's when I do my best work. Why would anyone skip first and second gear to start in third? That's difficult even for one who has been driving standards their whole life...and, it's not good for the car. I began to analyze: first gear is for gaining momentum for second gear that pulls you up steep hills. Third gear is for coasting...level ground...patient...not in any hurry. Then, I saw it. I got out of my head and saw that a car, is for moving you from place to place.
        As Christians, we say we believe that God is omnipresent, but we don't reflect that in our belief systems about the circumstances we find ourselves in. Instead, we find ourselves in Kindergarten, stuck at the stupid station where you lace string through a cardboard shoe, declaring, I don't need this. I've been able to tie my shoe since Grandma taught me at 4. Missing the point, all together, at every station. Moving in time, has to do with WHOM you are moving, not where.
         When I got up from bed, I said, "Jesus, not one more dream about some pie in the sky, please. I just can't be disappointed anymore." He is so patient, and has a great sense of humor. He says, "Are you irritated? Then work at it." The moment I saw that He IS ever present, that I am never away from Him, I saw my surroundings for what they are. It never has been about getting a job, a house, a car, etc. that meets the criteria of success in America. It has always been about my Center partner who never fails to teach me something, even if I am lacing a cardboard shoe. I'm Career Shadowing with Jesus, who is teaching me how to move eternally in a time centered world.

MY SEAT AT THE TABLE

The Kid Table (google)

     Some things never change, over time. I asked my boys when they returned from Thanksgiving with their Dad's family, "Didja graduate to the adult table yet?" Even when the kids have grown into adults, it just seems easier to place the "experienced" lives at one table and the "learning" lives at another.
      When I was young I couldn't wait to get to that table because I loved big secrets. I realized early on, that big secrets have great power. I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, unless it was my sister, who just hit me. I just really liked knowing adult information that I couldn't understand. It made me feel trustworthy and smart. When I became an adult, what I found at the adult table was the exact same crap that I had been eating at the kids table.
       So and so isn't sharing. So and so stole ____, and it's not his/hers because I had it first. They hurt me so bad, I would like to maintain the solace, anger gives me, rather than make nice and move on. Her clothes are ugly. His breath stinks. He doesn't play fair. She is mean. Oh, and gossip in the form of a prayer request was the snake on the table. No boundaries. No freakin' boundaries.
        I have always been a child at heart, but my kids helped me grow up. How? By sitting with them at the table, or the couch. Tradition may make you feel good, warm and fuzzy, but really, the truth is lying on the carpet as nettles from the fresh Christmas Tree you have to vacuum after and water about 4 times a day. Yuk! For the first 3 years of my boys lives, I was nursing, cooking, cleaning up dishes, and getting them down for nap, so no adult time. I really wanted to miss it, but I was having so much fun with my boys. https://www.pinterest.com/pin/534239574516663832/ (sorry no computer skills).
       My boys and I love the tv series "Friends." We've watched them so often, we have memorized the lines. Each episode never fails to rip us up with laughter. In this video I'm sharing, Ross had met Mona out at the table where you got your seating assignments. Well, Ross wanted to sat next to Mona rather than an older relative. He asked what table she was assigned. After she left, he thought he had picked up the card for the table next to her. Unfortunately, he had read the 9 as a 6. The scene that follows is hilarious and poignant. You must have a clear conscious when pursuing your goal.

Jesus at the table (google)

       This is not a new struggle. The disciples asked Jesus who is the greatest in the kingdom, and can I sat next to you, and what about John. Oh yes, there was childishness remaining in the disciples. But after the Cross and the revelation that all betrayed Him, they were left with three days of torture of conscious and a battle in faith. However, after the Resurrection, they became secure in LOVE. Fifty days later, the Holy Spirit empowers them for healing, deliverance and restoration. I would love to say that the Bible is full of children and women, but no. They are few and far between. That's because God saved the best for last. When we look at the Last Supper in the Bible, it is important that we know, seating is predetermined by God, so that no man can work his way to the Master. Those closest to Him are appointed to greatness...in suffering. To gain insight/compassion, it is required that you go to the humbling place: the kiddy table.

Wedding Party (google)

      At the kiddy table, your heart can be cleansed from goals that are self-serving, entitlements, fears, and agendas that do not bring Him glory. I read a book once from a well known "Prophetess," and was appalled by her actions. She had a dinner with several of the church's women who were spiritually gifted. One lady assumed that because she worked so closely with the "Prophetess" that she had a seat next to her. The "Prophetess" openly reprimanded her and told her she needed to go sit at the table of least importance. Surprise, its actually in the Bible in Luke 14. Jesus explains to the Pharisees that if you come to a wedding and take the seat of honor, the groom will have no choice but to humiliate you to humble you; however, if you come in humble, there is at least a chance that the groom will exalt you to a place of honor.
       What brought this on, is in this passed week, I witnessed two incidents where there was no adult manning the children. Two boys fighting in a church. Boys have to be manned all the time, looking purposefully at the direction of the heart. My boys ruff housed, but I was there to look for the subtle change in attitude. With girls, they have to be manned for picky, unkind words. You are literally giving them the tools they need to cultivate their own garden as they get older. Unattended gardens grow massive weeds, because they feel uncared for. This Christmas, volunteer to sit at the kid table, and find out what you have been missing.

RECEIVING ROSES

Mythical King (google)

     Once there was a king, known for his joyous kingdom. Everyone was happy, kind, and giving. However, one day, when the king was pondering his kingdom, he noticed something that began to dig in his great well of wisdom. He said to himself, "All of my children are obedient and serve me without question. I wonder, do they love me for my mind or my heart?" He dug into his mind, and fashioned a man, full of knowledge and great power. He was ambitious, desirable, and the love of his kingdom. One might even think, he was king!?!
     Many eons passed, and the great king dug into his heart and fashioned a man. This man was nothing to look at, and had no desire for power. He spent his days with the animals of the kingdom, keeping close to nature. He nurtured everything he touched. People in the kingdom began to talk about him, privately, "I swear, he's like a girl. He's very strange. Can he love a woman?" Prince of Power couldn't restrain the women who flocked around him, but the Prince of Peace was hard pressed for any kind of companionship.
     As the great king looked on, he pondered the responses of his subjects and determined that the eyes of his subjects were growing dim as they gazed upon the Prince of Power. His beauty was making them drunk. Their thinking was no more linear, but spiraling, like a web. Marriages were always arranged, but the great king decided to plot an experiment that would answer his question for certain. When the Prince of Peace was sleeping, he took from his heart, a pearl, and fashioned a woman out of it. Like the Prince of Peace, she was plain, but was given the gift of mercy. When he awoke, he felt different, but put the feeling in the back of his mind.
    The woman went unnoticed for a good span of time. Her life was full of sorrow and grief, but she was resilient and always managed to find humor in the worst of circumstances. The kingdom had changed tremendously over time. People were still happy, but not joyful. They seemed...bored/idle. Large groups of people who were blessed by the king, with wealth and talents, began to build and set up their own houses with lofty towers and lavish bedrooms...where they would sit all day....eating, drinking, and giving in to every desire that came to mind. The majority, though, worked jobs that kept the kingdom running, had "enough" to eat, and relaxed with their family at the end of the day.
    Right under the king's nose, as though he was too busy to notice, the Prince of Power began to build a blue city that seemed to light up the planet. People began to travel to this great light. They were drawn by the light and assuaged by the luring music that reached far outside the boundaries of the city. The closer they got to the city, the more their souls would vibrate. Don't get me wrong, the great king had power only heard of in stories, but he never really showed it. The Prince of Power...his magnificent power was seen, felt, heard...he must be a god, is what the people began to deduce.

Comparison (google) 

    One horrible day, the Prince of Power made his move. He and his servants decided to leave their positions and take on the great king. The Prince of Power had everything necessary to run and rule this planet. If his father was all powerful, really, he could make another. You see, the Prince of Power grew so drunk on his own power and the worship of his powerless servants, that he thought HE was not to be a king....another stupid king....no, HE WAS GOD! When the Prince of Power approached the throne, the great king already knew his heart. He threw him and all his cohorts into the dark...where maybe they could regain sight.
     The planet changed forever. Sadness and fear entered into a world, once ruled by love. There was no way that these new feelings could be remotely associated with a loving king. No, the great king, must have been a tyrant all along. They thought the punishment of the Prince of Power was by far, the worst punishment ever....exiled to the Abyss....where there is no light. This great king has a heart no one dares to know. Horrible and fierce in all his judgments, they came to believe. Over time, the planet became filled with fear. All the bright colors that clothed the naked people became covered in dark gray shades of black. Light and color hurt their eyes. They had to use makeup and paint to appear beautiful. At night, though, when they were naked, all was gray.
     During a parade, this woman appeared with a bright blue dress on, and her light brought great terror to the people. She refused to be anything but who she was, naked and blue. The other women spent their days making themselves up to be the brightest and the most beautiful. The women who got husbands were never plain girls. The ones who were really making an effort, got the reward. The woman with the blue dress, walked around singing...singing a song no one else could learn or sing. The women hated her and just wanted her to leave. Who cares if she was kind, sweet, generous, and loving....they could be all those things too, if they painted on the right colors.

A Mother's Duty (google)

    During this big event, the woman in blue went to find a place of rest, when a man came up and demanded her last bite of bread. She gave it. Then she went to find a seat. Her blue dress was taken from her, but not her light. Some women came up and told her she absolutely could not sit at that table. When she arrived at her assigned table, she was not allowed to sit there. She found a seat close to the stage. In the midst of all the sorrow and the sufferings, she had received a silver package of roses and other flowers. She was reading the love note of devotion from her Prince of Peace, wondering how she had always had his love, and how had he found her, and why did he have to leave his current relationship...what relationship?
     Suddenly, on the stage, children in noble dress began to sing complaints about their provisions, cussing, and declaring how they weren't going to take it anymore. They didn't want all the great king's treasures, they wanted to eat little lambs. The woman who now was only clothed in light, arose and said, "Children don't eat lambs, they feed them." The woman abandoned her whirling thoughts and forged forward with a passionate heart to get the children back to LOVE. The End
     The Moral: A woman who is safe in Love of her husband will focus on mothering her children, raising a household of peace.

CRY OF THE HUNGRY

Give me your old, expired food
Freezer burnt meat
Canned goods no one wants
I'll be the need you can meet

Clothes with holes and stains
All given in Jesus name

Stale bread and cereal
Crackers like powder for soup
I'm not complaining
Just wondering - would it be the same, if I were you

Less than best to build a nest
But the Son of God has nowhere to lay His head
Willing to give mere men - wings
But keep the Risen Savior...dead

Tick Tock, Tick Tock
Time will be gone, but not the clock

A measure of rye for the poor
A steak for the wealthy pauper
First class jet adventure
While wounded soldiers pack a helicopter

Life and Death, come and go
Moments played in rapid succession
Unaware of color and flow
Permanently being woven into eternal progression

Thoughtless gifts thrown to the poor
Bang the nails deeper through the flesh
While tatty clothes - thrown toooo
Rip from, Jesus...His royal dress

It's hard to see in the fog
Sometimes the weight of wet falls
Heavy was the Cross He bore
"Feed my Sheep" He calls

Lay down the storm
And give what's on your table
Whatever you would gift the Savior
Give it now - if you are able

      ......and Let LOVE Live
Written by Trudy Schrader on 12-02-15

THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE

Pearl of Great Price (google)

     When I was going through divorce in '08, I was told by my lawyer that no judge in our state would give me my miracle children, because, by my own admission, my 'husband' was a good dad, had a great house, works at a college, is the sound man at his church...he has the image. When I got back to the women's shelter, I told the co-founder, "I believe God is a good God, but I don't believe He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6, paraphrased)." In light of yesterday's blog, lets look at this verse more closely.
      This morning, I was walking around thinking about why the enemy can admit the first part of the verse, but not the second part of the verse. I asked Jesus, "Did He earnestly seek you, and you refuse Him?" I answered myself, "No...that would make salvation null and void, and it would make God a liar." The Holy Spirit helped me a great deal by reminding me of the Pearl of Great Price in Matthew 13:44-45. In both verses, a man finds a pearl of great value, hides it, goes away and sells everything he owns and buys the field (44), the pearl (45).
     Before we can understand the parable, we have to know the great labor an oyster goes through to make a pearl. So here's a short video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIOSWAbUf74 So now you know that the formation of a pearl has everything to do with irritants. How could that have anything to do with the kingdom of heaven? Aww. We have come to it.
     Have you ever asked yourself the question, "Why are children being baptized, seemingly without choice, when Jesus didn't even get baptized til He was thirty?" The examples that I gave yesterday, of the anointing and the water, didn't come immediately either. Here is what they all have in common: salvation. The name of Jesus means Salvation. How could people have "salvation" without Jesus? How could Moses come up the mountain of God without being slain? The answer is the Holy Spirit. In the Old Testament, The Holy Spirit (Water of the Word/Oil of Anointing) rested upon the "servants of God." What marked them as servants, was their faith. God accounted "_____" as faith unto him...

Baptism of Jesus (google)

     Things get murky when we try to equate the Gift of Salvation with the Kingdom of God. They are cut out of the same cloth, but one functions as a covering, while the other functions as "Inheritance." In any kingdom, all royal children are dressed according to their position of power/authority. God's Kingdom is similar, but don't go to far beyond the attire. Salvation belongs to alllll within the household of faith. Anyone who is brought to the Household of God, who desires to just be in His presence, He will in no wise, turn them away. There are many in the household of God who are content with just being in His presence. They serve those "who will inherit the Kingdom" with great joy. They don't desire or have a passion for knowing the inner workings of the Kingdom or to Know the King intimately...in the belly of His sufferings. That's ok. God has room for them.
      Now, for those who will inherit the Kingdom, Baptism and Anointing is absolutely necessary for HOLINESS. There is no way you can begin to lay down your life and take on His, without first, dying to self and accepting the Calling God has given, regardless of your feelings. No person can "earn" anything in the Kingdom. Kingdom gifts are granted, not rewarded. In order to have Wisdom concerning The Pearl of Great Price, one has to work through a great many irritants. Why? It is the working through, that makes us able to see His Perfect Gift. I thought I saw it before, but I had to lose everything, including my name to truly see the value. There is no gift like it, and it is the exact reason why the enemy can never say, "He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." He seeks to know self as god; not counting self crucified in order to see God.

Real vs Fake (google)

      In the examples of Noah, Moses, Jesus, well, and for that matter, the disciples, the impartation of the Holy Spirit is too fold: Water (baptism) and Oil (anointing). Salvation stands alone. In order to be an inheritor of the Kingdom, it is necessary to be baptized and receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit. What is Spirit is Spirit and what is flesh is flesh. Man aught not touch the precious things of God. Philippians 3:12-13 says, "...continue to work out your salvation with fear (awe of God, beginning of wisdom) and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." We tend to judge others for their lack and ourselves by our intentions. In the Kingdom, inheritors must be constantly aware that if they choose to see sin in others, then they agree to admit that it is double in self, and it is an opportunity to deal with self rather than "call out" others.
      Ok, on a final note, lets answer the question, "Why would the finder of The Pearl of Great Price, hide it, then sell everything he owns, return, and buy the field (44), the pearl (45)?" The field represents the condition of our heart...the Pearl of Great Price is hidden inside. The Pearl couldn't be His until he bought the field through the "laying down" of his former life. It cost him everything. In vs. 45, he takes the Pearl of Great Price in his hand, signifying the Spreading of the Gospel (Good News). Such great joy comes with Salvation, that one can't help but share the Gospel; however, it is not until the new believer has been fully submerged in the Water of the Word, and the Oil of anointing,  that he/she can operate the Pearl of Great Place with Wisdom (authority of Love).
     I thought of one more thing. Why a Pearl...why not a diamond, emerald, or stone? I believe it was because Jesus knew that a Pearl would only be seen as valuable by those who are fishermen for a living. No one else would truly see the great efforts used in the formation...how slow, how patient the oyster must be while being irritated. Pearls aren't dazzling and alluring, but around a Bride's neck, priceless. This has been such an awesome journey with my Jesus. My Pearl is in place, and I'm ready to go.

WHAT IS THE PRICE OF YOUR GIFT

Food Bank (google)

      Yesterday began with a trip to a local church who was giving away groceries to the needy. I hate those things because they are humiliating and the workers are generally condescending. But, I went, because a friend got an invitation in the mail, and she didn't want to go alone. Besides, I would be lying if I said I didn't need the groceries.
      When we arrived 50 minutes early, people were already standing outside the door in freezing weather...some with infants. We rolled down the window to find out where to park, and the attendant said, "Now ladies, the doors will not open til noon." Already, it begins. However, we weren't in the car for 5 minutes, when the doors opened. As we entered, attendants were saying, gruffly, "If you are a worker, to the left. If you are receiving a basket, to the right. We don't wantchya in the cold" Then, some lady got up on the stage giving all these instructions and literally ended with, "Now listen, we don't want pandemonium. There is plenty of food for everyone, and every family represented here, will get a ticket (gold, really?). At this point, my anger is rising.
      You see, in order for recipients to receive a basket, they had to come into the sanctuary and listen to the gospel. I was outraged that the "Good News" was reduced to a tool of manipulation. For those of you who don't know how it works, this is it. Nonprofits get funded by people who can see that the program is making a difference. Therefore, the number served and the number saved equals money to refund the program the following year. In other programs, the funding is according to their goals, in short, is the program breaking the chains of poverty that makes homelessness, drug addiction, depression, etc an outcome?

Baptism (google)

      The service was good, until the end. About 50 people came forward to receive Jesus, after a 20 minute appeal to the recipients. I can't say that people were responding to the Holy Spirit or extreme manipulation...only God knows the heart of man. But what followed, was nothing short of spiritual bludgeoning. I saw this man in white robe with a gold rope around his waist, appear in the balcony. I asked my friend, "Who is that up there?" She said, "Oh, well, I guess they are baptizing today." Immediately after that, the speaker read a verse that said we are commanded to be baptized, and well, if you truly want to follow Christ, you got to nail this down." I am in utter horror, at the complete miscarriage of the gospel (Good News).So he was telling these brand new babies who have just come through spiritual birth (forgiveness) to not only come forward and proclaim that they are a "forgiven infant," but he also wants them to fully understand and agree with the gift by being baptized immediately. This is not LOVE according to 1 Cor. 13:4. We can't even get passed the first attribute of LOVE...."Love is patient."
      I have been so irritated at Jesus for revealing to me that the reward of LOVE is Compassion, because I couldn't see the value....until today, looking back on yesterday. I have always had a rule as a parent, if a child harms himself/herself or others as a result of disobedience, punishment is never an option. I thanked God for those moments, because they were teachable moments that occurred naturally. My boys have such tender teachable hearts, they have always responded with gratefulness. No they are perfect, but they are gifts from God. I don't know what causes a person to come to awe of God in the sacredness of His Gift, but I do know, without it, it is impossible to be pleasing to God. The journey to Jesus is so sacred and is never to be touched by "man-handlers." Don't think God will go lightly on anyone who takes the vulnerability of the hungry and uses it for "kingdom or personal" gain. Salvation belongs to God. I am praying that compassion will come to the minister.

Anointing (google)

      Last night, the moment I got into the bed, I asked Jesus to clarify Baptism for me. Immediately, one of my favorite preachers came on Daystar and guess what he was preaching? That's right, Baptism. He gave three examples in the Old Testament that were type and shadow of the practice. Noah's Ark...the Ark was Salvation, and then the water came....washing away the old and bringing in the new. Then, the flight out of Egypt....Moses came to God in the desert (40 years), led the children out, then the old was washed away in the waters and the Promised-land lie ahead. I fell asleep by the third. Throughout the night, God gave me dreams, talked with me, and here is what I came to understand.
      The Gospel (Good News) stands alone. You can not add to it or take away from it. In the Revelation (of Jesus Christ) 22:17-19, we are told, "The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come!' And let him who hears say, 'Come!' Whosoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life." In the verse alone, John captures the complete operation of the Spirit, the water, and the life. Was it not Jesus who said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6)?" Everything we need for the salvation robe, is in Jesus. Heaven is open to whosoever will. God is not ignorant. He knows that many will come to the party, but only the first-fruits who are consecrated to God (Levites-God is their inheritance), will want to know deep intimacy with God. He can deal with that. That is how much He wants Heaven to open to anyone who wants to be there...even if they are only a tiny bit interested in knowing His Son....and the Price of His Gift.
      In the following two verses, we are warned, "I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book." Did you see that at the end? You will not lose your salvation....but your inheritance. I love how much God loves us. He literally covers anyone who wants to come to Him.
      Finally, I will continue what the Holy Spirit has showed me in a blog entry tomorrow. The anointing and baptism are important, but they come in a timely manner after salvation. They can not, in any way, be added to salvation. His Gift was all the Gift we will ever need to enter into Heaven. I don't know about you, but I am rejoicing over the Good News of Jesus Christ.

GLORY GIRL

A little girl was born long ago
With her importance concealed inside
She grew up with troubles and sorrows
In a place where dreams lived and died

Oh, there were pretty gardens
Enough to bring a soul to hope
But there were also big oaks
Where desire dangled on a tethered rope

The more she grew up
The deeper significance drove...down
The bottomless well, so empty
In her tears, she could easily drown

It seemed like all dressed alike
In dark, black, nothing clothes
But she believed their had to be colors
Where beauty freely flows

One day, the bottom fell out
Her well could no longer hold
A man appeared with a color
That lightened her load

She followed him, wherever he went
And began to leave the town
Others were horrified to see
Smiles replace her frowns

Her walk became a run
She came and went at will
Til the community demanded payment
For an undisclosed bill

She sank in despair
Not knowing how the bill accrued 
Her mind raced in circles
Not understanding how happy, could ever, be rude

Her deliverer bid her come
Leave the people with their despair
She couldn't leave her love
But her heart remained ....there

Many years passed with her love
She grew and learned her worth
As her color was revealed
Her love filled the earth

Everywhere she was led
Her color caused a stink
Angry mobs of fearful peeps
Refused to see, hear, or think

Complacency dulled desire
Too dull to point out the WAY
She skipped with joy
Encouraging others to come away

Comfort bought their souls, long ago
In the habit of survival and pain
It was easier to pay the piper
Than allow the heart any gain

She lived among them, for a bit
Enduring the constant push to conform
But nothing they used could touch
The color that the Spirit formed

Every abuse, every blow
Made the color glisten and shine
Revealing the Truth
This Glory Girl is mine.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 11-07-15

 Moral: You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make him drank. Choice was worth the death of His son. Love can't be bought, it must be won :)

LEAST DESIRABLE CALLING

Noticed (google)

     I'm going to be open and candid with this post. Above all, I wanted influence. Not just influence, but for important people to affirm me, be associated with me, connected with me. Look at T.D Jakes. He didn't begin with fame, fortune, and the power to change lives. As with anyone "coming up," he had massive trials, still is, if you follow the news. However, the end of the story is supposed to be bad first, reward later, with people on the outside, not knowing all the struggles you endured to get to THE place God called you to.
     Call me crazy, but I've always had a problem with this. As it is with any dream, the "coming up" is the real story. The being rewarded is the icing on the cake. What if I told you, that many "come up," but find that they have no natural reward. No one whisks them into the spotlight, or makes everything all work out. In Hebrews 11, the writer gives a list of the faithful servants who were well known to the people, but then, in vs. 35, he launches into the point, "...others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison... (vs. 39) These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised." Because we live in time, when we hear God's voice, it's natural to put a time "frame" on it. Why? We want to know that if we must suffer, we at least get a payoff. Just because we follow Jesus doesn't mean we have been magicked into a nonhuman, super spiritual, arrived at enlightenment being. Believe me, when the flesh cries out, it means to get relief.

Unnoticed (google)

     So, I have journeyed long and hard, running after my deliverer. Whatever He has required of me, grace has allowed me to function within the moment with Love. Still, it was like a shadow was behind me, trying to take over my vision. In my "coming up," I despised power, because the authority that had it, found it more pleasing to the flesh, to strip me naked and beat me rather than nurture me and help me grow. I have never wanted power or authority. My heart has always been to restore, renew and grow people. I just thought it would be in a more noticeable way, rather than God given moment by moment appointments in which privacy was paramount. So then, I started saying something really stupid and desperate, "I work CIA for Jesus." Isn't the whole point of CIA, secrecy? I just wanted people to know, I'm not a loser. Yea, I don't have a natural job that generates income. My car was repossessed. I have too many natural and spiritual circumstances to voice. But, you gotta know, I really am walking by faith, and even if it looks like I am a failure, God is working.
      I've had many jobs thus far, but none are comparable to mothering. I flipped out with joy when one of my boys decided to play a game with me on Facebook. Of course, two weeks later, he is no longer interested. But the moments of being a person to my child were sacred. They are treasures in my heart. I have found that it is not what you do, as a mother, FOR your child, that has an impact on them. It is being available. That's it. No frills, no tangible rewards, no kudos, but the benefit of that simple calling, is insurmountable. When a child knows they are covered, that one or more parent will always be available (physically, emotionally, spiritually), the child grows up with a peace that can't be possessed in the trials and sufferings of this life.

Available (google)

     So, as I laid on my bed last night, arguing, struggling with the spirit within me, I finally came to accept and be at peace with my calling. I had to redefine power. The Holy Spirit asks, "Are you committed to seeing His children free from fear, at peace and in their right mind?" I answered, without hesitation, "Yes!" "That requires power. Remember, you don't fight, Jesus fights. You are called to be available and to cooperate." That's it? Really? There's no re....ohhhh! Once again, I'm led to a walk that is powerful with great authority, but no one will even be aware of my sufferings or the great reward I have in just walking with Jesus. I don't get a front row seat in watching Him work; I rest in Him while He works. How cool is that?
     There are so many of His children, who are serving in the open. God knows the heart, and He alone is the righteous judge. But I'm here to tell you, if you settle for your reward here, enjoy it. You can't have a natural reward and a spiritual reward. It is a choice. Right now I can hear all the justifications. The old testament natural blessings on His servants were to identify them, set them apart from the world. They predicated the spiritual blessings that the new testament saints would experience. So many died, and were never mentioned in stories or books. The only requirement for every follower/disciple of Jesus is to be available and cooperate, so that the reward we receive can be lain at His feet. If that ruffles your feathers, then you haven't went deep enough with Jesus to lay hold of His sufferings. He alone, is our reward. Remember, all of humanity's sentence, because of the Fall, is death in the presence of a Holy, Almighty God. The idea that He even thought of us, was gracious, but that He planned and carried out the Crucifixion of His only Son, that's Him being Daddy God. He means to have all of His children home...at any cost.

THE PRICE FOR VOICE

Myth Buster (google)

     It has taken such a long time for me to gather my acquired tools and present them, publicly, without giving the enemy a "head's up." My hope is to prepare any mother who is hearing, for the first, and maybe only, time, that her child has been abused. Because I worked for Department of Human Services as a Child Abuse Investigator, I know protocol....but, I also know the law. No matter how long I have been gone from that place of employment, I am never to reveal my training. To do so, would be endangering the very children my heart is dedicated to protect. So, for better or worse, here we go.
     Much to everyone's surprise, abuse hasn't increased, it's just being revealed, and with a great deal of confidence from the abuser. Because of the internet, and disloyal, ignorant former employers, leaks have happened not only on the internet, but also national news. I was horrified when a well known family, in our home town, was exposed for abusing his sisters as a juvenile. First of all Juvenile Court is closed to anyone not involved in the case, and the information is protected by law....unless big names and money are involved. That's disgusting. Do these people realize the message they gave the little ones who have gotten caught up in the abuse "cycle" were told, by their actions alone, "I am never safe. What's the point?"
     So, the first tool I'm going to give you is SHUT YOUR MOUTH. If your child comes to you and reveals to you that he/she has been touched in private places by a trusted family member, church member, teacher, coach, spouse, do not ask questions. With the most compassion you can muster at that very traumatic, betraying moment, your child is all that matters, and you have to do this correctly, or it all goes to hell in a handbasket. If you haven't washed his/her clothes from the past day, get them, put them in a bag, and put your child in the car. Take him/her to the local Child Abuse Advocacy Center. If you don't have one in your county, take them to the hospital for sexual abuse, and police station for physical abuse. Neglect is a hotline call. In our state, the state police handle all abuse calls. These people are trained on a regular basis on HOW to talk to children, without creating a leading question that would ruin an investigation.
     I know that you need support. I know that you are terrified, angry, etc, but you must not tell anyone while the investigation is going on. If there is a trial, you will more than likely have a "gag order" preventing you from talking to anyone about the abuse, except for a counselor. Counselor's are bound by law to cooperate with law enforcement and the governing agencies in order to protect a child. They have to tell you that up front and you sign an informed consent form. A counselor is a great idea. They are a much needed support for the family.

Hurt (google)

    My second tool is BELIEVE YOUR CHILD, even if you don't want to. Here's why, you could go to jail for not responding appropriately. If you don't believe me, check out state law on "Failure to Protect." If you smoke in the car with a child (October 1, 2015), you can be sited and go to jail. Children are first. Now that they have a voice, parents are guilty until proven innocent. It is the price. It has made a flip in how the law is interpreted. For instance, A parent who struggles with drug addiction, obviously suffers from Neanderthal thinking, and believes their high is more important than ensuring the safety of their child. End of Story. You will get NOOOOO compassion from the Courts or cooperating agencies. Do everything to ensure your child's safety. If you don't, you need to go to jail to get some perspective.
      Here is a huge misconception: Abuse hurts. Well, physical abuse does, but the mind has mechanisms for escape. Thank God for the way He made our mind; it works for us when our feelings and emotions get overwhelmed. As for sexual abuse. If it's rape, it doesn't just hurt, it is traumatic, damaging, mind altering, soul shattering; however, most children who are sexually abused are not raped....right off. There is a long period of grooming. The younger the child when the cycle begins, the more likely they are to see the legal definition of rape, as love. If the abuser is a close family member and has access to the child on a fairly regular basis, you can count on it.

The Threat (google)

     That brings up the third tool: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. However, if you were sexually, physically abused or neglected as a child, and have never worked on making peace with your past, you can count on your instincts having a "familiar feeling." That makes your response or reaction, dull and suspicious rather than on point. DHS workers have found themselves dumbfounded by parents who not only fail to respond/react to child abuse, but also remain with the offender rather than the child. Guaranteed, they were abused and have had no time, space, or support to work through their own trauma. No matter how hard you try, you can't give what you ain't got.
      Finally, have an EMERGENCY PROCEDURE LIST, posted on the refrigerator. Here's why. When something happens that is outside of the normal functioning of the brain, a list can help "kickstart" training. Also, if you and your spouse are open about how you view abuse (My loyalty to you stops at the maltreatment of any child), the list is a warning to both parents to be on guard concerning interactions with each other and your children. On the list, you will need to have done some research with local police to find out the procedure so that the safety of your children is known and expected by all who pass through your house.
     The Threat is extremely important. So, make a list of your children's "currency." What moves them to feel love? What makes them feel safe? What makes them feel threatened? What or who do they cling to, love most dearly? Offenders don't use the threat "I'll kill you, if you tell," unless they are a stranger. My rapist used, "Do you want us to be divorced like your mom?" I didn't want to be a homewrecker, cause Christians are supposed to be peacemakers. Familiar people know and use their currency against them. For instance, if they have a pet, killing the pet, with whom they share alllll of their feelings cause they will never talk, would be terrifying to the mind trying to deal with trauma. Go with God and work diligently to keep your children safe.

SLAVE, SERVANT, SON....MENTALITY

Slave Mentality (google)

     I've been thinking about how the mind moves, from one perspective to another, and how that in each perspective, new truth is revealed. When I was a child, my Mama tells me I got saved when I was three; however, as I grew up in legalism, I developed hate for those who had mistreated me and abused me. When I was sixteen, I acknowledged that I had hate toward a person, and compared that to 1 John 4:7-8. You can't say you love God, who you don't see, when you hate the brother you do see. Hmmm. So when I got saved, one week before my 20th birthday, I needed a place to put all the previous years. What was that experience?
     A young man came into my life, and began to question me about all I "believed." He was very patient, and when my religion stalled at logic, I had to confess that besides seeing Jesus at 18 months, the religion had many holes, and I needed answers. Honestly, as a child, I didn't want to be hit, yelled at, blamed for things I didn't do, abused, made to keep secrets too big for me to understand, much less carry. So, I obeyed. I developed O.C.D. at the baseline, and Dis Associative Disorder, so that the "people/system" my mind created, could take the responsibility for the sins of others and help me to survive. I did, but when I was 20, legalism (trusting in perfect performance to save), failed me. I found that with slavery mentality, the demons don't easily let you go. Slavery mentality is not formed over one experience, but over time, as the acts of control and repression increase with severity and threats of harsher punishment. The person learns to fear harm of any kind, in self and in others. By then, terror takes over, and the hope of getting out hangs on the only one who escaped all forms of bondage Himself.

Servant Mentality (google)

       Unlike, Slavery Mentality, Servant Mentality has a payoff, compensation, if you will. This is the thing I was talking about the other day, when Storge love doesn't happen, the friendships are formed with servant/reciprocal, unspoken bonds. Each person has their own idea of what their pay should be, and they pull on the friendship to get it. For example, because a friend "gave" $20 bucks the other day for cigarettes, when receiver gets paid, which isn't on the same pay day as the giver, the giver says, "Hey, you got $20 bucks? I need to pay a friend." This feels wrong, and the more you think about it, the more angry you get. Then you start to keep record, and find the friend is taking you for a fool. At the exact moment you are gonna cut him/her loose, he/she asks you to dinner and pays for it.
      You don't have many friends, and all of them seem to operate on the same system. So rather than determine they are wrong, you conclude, "Wow! I must have been sheltered. I didn't know the world operated this way. This mentality is more difficult to get out of than the Slavery Mentality due to the fact that you the "good/payoff" with the "bad/boundary breaking/usury." The only way to come out of this is to experience a different way of relating to people. Go ahead, look for examples. They are few and far between. Generally, when you look, Servant Mentality always has an agenda....get reciprocity for self. It gets really sad and comical, watching people vie for position with the boss, the bigwigs, the powers that be....really, all it takes is Starbucks and the feeling of adoration?
       Finally, Son Mentality, not gender related, but a way of thinking. is best of the worst. You will understand in a minute. I love history, and I especially love learning about Kingdoms. It is interesting how that "Peace" is rare and treasured, but even then, there were always those who were working behind the scenes to dethrone the King and enthrone themselves. When you delve into the mind of the King, you may find that his agenda is to protect and provide for his people, but then, you have those who are only interested in territory, power and position. In those kingdoms, you will find the worst sorts of people, always planning and scheming, like vipers. To think like a Son, means your whole life is geared toward the purpose of your Father (self is lost and found in purpose of the Father). When I read the story in the Bible about Johnathan and David, you get a clear picture of Son Mentality. Although Johnathan dearly loved David, he obeyed his father. His belief was that his father had displeased God and David would be King, so he helped him as best he could. In the regular world, Johnathan should have been king, since he was Saul's oldest son. How cool is Johnathan? Later on, because of Johnathan's devotion to David and the will of his True Father, David, as King, honored Johnathan and brought his son, Mephibosheth to serve as a distinguished soldier....he and his descendants for generations.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwS14TiO7Pk

Son Mentality (google)

       A Son Mentality has been claimed by His Father, and His only aim is to serve under His authority until the day he comes to inherit the kingdom. Yesterday, when I had another perspective/paradigm shift, I noticed that I had been looking for Jesus in the 4 corners of my mind:Experience, Education, Gifts,Talents. He can not be found IN ME. I am to be found IN HIM. If He is to be fully Jesus in me, I can not be limited by the four corners of my mind. I decided, that as a Son, I lay down all things that make me "Feel" successful and all accolades that could cause me to reason, "I'm a Son." I exchanged it for Him and His great expanse of limited opportunities. Which means, He will take me places where I don't understand the language, the customs, the system, the people. I will be uncomfortable. I will feel rejected and alone. But, for the purpose of embracing His children, Sons, I will go. He calls me friend, and I call Him LORD.

BEING HAPPY

Obese Child (google)

     Once Upon a Time (signifying fiction), there was a boy named Felipe. His mother would say, "That boy came out eating and hasn't stopped." When friends would comment about his size, she simply responded with, "Oh, but it makes him happy." His mother was a little overweight, but his father was a board. When his mother was young, she was thin, cheerleader at her high school. But after her third child, she got a little depressed. She kept the 20 lbs she had gained during pregnancy, and decided to just be happy with herself. After all, she was only one size bigger. A size 8 is nothing to spit on when most of the nation's women were at least a 14.
     When Felipe was in Kindergarten, he made friends with a little boy who had struggled with weight too....couldn't keep it on. He had Celiac Disease, but it had taken a long time for it to be identified correctly. Complicating that disease was Crohn's Disease. To say that eating was traumatic for little John, was a major understatement. He hated eating, and he pushed his hunger to the limits. His parents went to great lengths to adjust their lifestyle to accommodate for their son's illness.
      As the boys grew, Felipe found out that he was limited in physical activities due to his weight, while John was limited in the same activities due to "stomach issues." Both of the boys began to notice how others, their age, played, laughed, sweated, and had experiences that they....couldn't ? They decided that they should be happy too, and, well, there's all sorts of ways to be happy. They decided to be game people. Felipe could eat, and John could always have access to the facilities.
      As teenagers, they were total nerds. Felipe had a mind for business. He had straight A's in school and was president of the FCCLA (FBLA for us old farts). John was an artist. He not only drew on paper, painted on canvas, but he also, created on line. One day, both of them decided that they were old enough to have a job, but they didn't want to leave home. They decided to develop a website that would help home-bound people to earn a living through technology. At first, there wasn't much of a demand, but overnight, it went viral. The rest is history. The boys dropped out of high school, got their GED's, got their degrees on line, and they were happy.

Fat to Thin (google)

     When Felipe was 28, and weighed 320 lbs, he had a heart attack. He almost died. He could no longer ignore the fact that being overweight had wore out his heart. His recovery was so long and hard. The exercise was excruciating. However, as he began to see the evidence that the weight was coming off, he began to experience a new kind of happiness. He could walk, normal....without losing his breath while walking up stairs. Felipe, had a new look, a new life, and a kick-ass body for finding a wife. He thought to himself, "So THIS is happy. Wow, I didn't know."
       John began to notice that in the late 90's, Celiac and Crohn's Disease where on the rise, to the point that the availability of gluten free products were appearing on shelves at the General Store. That peaked his interest, so he began to do some research about the causes behind the increase in the disease. What he found astonished him. He thought to himself, "How could we ever eat plastic fruit on Grandma's table and be nourished?" He found his love for his shared business, waning, and his interest peaking on how to develop and bring quality food to his country's people. He sold his part of the business to his partner, and became a farmer.
       As John worked the land, touching the soil, the seed, and the fruit, he found his love for nature and nurturing the land, growing in his heart. As he cooked food in new and fun ways that never caused a problem with his digestive system, he found himself writing an illustrated cookbook for those suffering from Celiac and or Crohn's Disease. It was a best seller. He opened up his own store that was full of  organically grown, gluten free, peanut, and allergen free products. He said to himself, "Wow! THIS is happy! I didn't know life could be this good." John began to put on a little weight, finally. He found energy to work hard and no longer feared embarrassing incidents.

Finding Peace (google)

      John was 35, when he died in a car accident. It was a tragedy, and horribly traumatic for Felipe. Felipe fell into a deep, dark depression. Even though he had a wife and a new baby, John had been his best friend since kindergarten. They knew each other, saw the good, the bad and the ugly in each other. He just could not imagine his life ever being "happy" without his best friend. Rosa encouraged him to go to a grief counselor, but every time he got close to the door, he returned to his car, and found himself in the parking lot of a known drug dealer. All it took was one trip of "Meth" and he was hooked. In a matter of six short months, Felipe turned into a monster he didn't recognize. He came to himself as he held a knife to his wife's neck....because she refused him money, to go buy his drugs. Something in that moment, matched a moment he had when he was 4. His father had lost his job. His parents began to fight. He watched in horror, as his father held a knife to his mother's throat....but then, he caught sight of Felipe, and let her go.
        John called the police, explained the situation, and went to jail...for an evening. Rosa refused to press charges. John asked to go to drug rehab. He spent six weeks in the program. While he was there, he discovered that his mother used food to silence him. Every time he began to reveal the great sorrow they lived in, she would say, "Here, Felipe, Mama has Twinkies for you." All of his happy was gone. He felt like such a fake. Like the feeling of happy was a mirage, meant to keep the judges away from the home. He could feel his heart; it was broken. But there was a glimmer of light that would catch his eye when his son looked at him. He decided one thing: Happiness is shifting, but peace is profitable.
       The moral of this story: The way you experience love is intimate and personal. It is not about rather or not someone, who doesn't know you, care about you, or has anything to do with you, approves. If you are a sinner, the very least you could be, is authentic. A sinner is someone who needs Jesus, but can not recognize their own lack. A saint is someone who is very aware of their need for Redemption, and KNOWS Jesus is their only hope of Righteousness. Saints who act like sinners, are in process. Sinners who act like saints, are lost. End of story.

IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE

Agape Love (google)

     I don't know if you have an earthly father, if he was good or bad, but you gotta know, all of creation is BECAUSE of Agape Love. That's Father's love, and it is active...not emotional. It is spiritual.
     Over the Summer, I got to work for DaySpring Behavioral Health Services. I learned so much about Daddy God. It was incredible, to feel little Lucas move inside me. I loved my 6th month because he was so active and I was passed the nausea, not quite a whale, yet. People would touch my belly and say, "Lucas, it's your Aunt 'Sally.' Wake up!" He would wake up, kick, and we were gleeful with proof of the miracle of Love inside me, moving.
     Imagine God, in darkness, because that's trust, Love moves inside the expanse of eternity, like a baby in the bag of waters, and God/Love, is moved to speak. Isn't that beautiful? He heard His voice, and whatever He spoke, was. Wow! I'm in awe of Him. Not being a man, it's hard to understand this, wrap my mind around this, but Father Love is Blessing Love. It means, I will take care of all of your needs, and I will delight to see what you CAN desire outside of my provision. The majority of us have never experienced this kind of love, so we can't comprehend or fathom that a Holy God would love us that much.
     During the Summer, I worked out that we are Spiritual, Emotional, and Physical. There is healing for the physical and the emotional, but no one wants to touch the spiritual healing....inept, for sure. Then, I asked the question that God had been leading me too: What is Spiritual God, if Christian and sinner is to receive healing regardless of religious belief ? He answered, "First of all, spiritual is not religious, because people have spirit even though they not believe. I would never create a being without spirit. Spirit is the Breath of Life." I thought on that a few days, had a couple of dreams, and determined that the Breath of Life is sex. That made perfect sense, to me, because the man got The Breath of Life, but the woman did not. She was taken out of man. This is why many cultures still believe the woman can't go to Heaven. Anyway, look at the actual act, and you will see how it works. The man can't FEEL emotional until after climax, and the climax is in the penis. The woman's orgasm is a full body orgasm...the Breath of Life. Nice exchange, huh? Alas, I wasn't quite there.

Intimacy (google)

     In the next week, Jimmy Evans was on the Joni Table Talk show, and said, paraphrasing here, "The Breath of Life is Love. God never intended for us to be able to relate to each other without Him, so He put Himself in image." I don't know about you, but I was doing cartwheels.....in my heart :)  How cool is that? We can't even relate to each other, in Love, without Him.
      Ok, moving on, we have Eros (greek god, not in the Bible), passionate/romantic love. If there were a better word for this love, like INTIMACY, which is into me see, this would perfectly describe Jesus. He is the Physical evidence of God's passionate love for us, and His sacrifice made it possible for INTIMACY with God. I really don't like Eros. but, you do get the idea.
     I know I didn't spend much time on Physical Love, but there's a reason for that, because Emotional love has two kinds of Love, and I think it will really help some people clear up some issues of the heart. Back in 2005, I learned that the IMAGE that God made man in is "Male, Female,Seed." Which let me know that Male is God the Father, Female is Mama God, and Seed is Jesus. His trademark is literally on everything He created....down to the worm. So, Mama God is the Holy Spirit, and we are currently in Mama God dispensation. I've said it before, but let me recap, when the enemy tempted Eve, literally what he did was have her FEEL the fruit, then cause her to REASON that it is NATURAL food instead of SPIRITUAL fruit. That showed me that in order for the enemy to gain access to us, we first have to give him an ear, engage him, allow him to make us feel, and convince us that with all the symptoms, we have a right reason that blah, blah, blah is true. In order to fight him, we have to recognize the lie, ask God how we came into agreement with him, repent, ask God to reveal TRUTH by laying down feelings and reason.....bam! TRUTH becomes a SWORD, one slash, and you are free.

Storge Love (google)

     I have always struggled with Phileo love, determining that since it is never unconditional, it always fails, it rejects, it maims, it rarely does more good than harm, and, and, it operates on reciprocity. I hate that! However, God turned the light on today, and I discovered an attic full of treasure boxes to explore. Who cares about the spiderwebs, cobwebs, etc. I'm diving in.
     The first relationship an infant ever has is Storge Love/Mama Love. A system is set up like this: Baby cries (6 different cries), Mama responds (appropriately and timely), need is satiated, and then comes trust (came from Relias Learning). Unfortunately, if the mother never understands the different cries and neglects the child, the infant learns to stop crying....horrific!!! Many of us grew up with "getting by" mothering. That means, we have mothers who were children when they had children, and they never got the complete 100% pouring into kinda love that required nothing in return. Then, because of that deficit, we subconsciously, are always on the prowl for THAT love in phileo love, or eros/intimate love.

Phileo Love (google)

      So, imagine that we all got Mama love, where our Mama's couldn't wait to have us, sending into our making/disposition the attitude of I want you. Then, when we were born, we were met with rejoicing and parties, and Mama falling in love with our sweet little being, nursing us, handling us so gently, comforting us when we were fussy. Oh, and then, when we were in Elementary, she exclaimed, "Oh honey, look at that pretty picture! Did you make that for me? I'm so proud of you!" Our little hearts know that we know, that we are wanted and adored. So then, when we make friends, we are naturally drawn to friends (phileo) who know the same thing. That friendship grows and develops with each member giving, sharing, and receiving from a place in the heart that is secure...I am wanted. Friendship is never convoluted or strained. It just is...strong, and lasting.
      Now imagine, that Mama was raped at 16, had the baby because her parents "made her." They spend more time with the grandchild/child than the mother. The mother is still in school. She wants to be a teenager and not a mother. That child rarely even gets a glance from her teenage mother, much less a hold. The child knows he/she can get anything from Nana and Papa, but the gaping hole in the heart can't be touched by them. The child branches out to find friends....just like him/her. They pull and push on each other, wanting this, grabbing that, needing this, taking that. They would walk away, but the fear of being alone and unloved eats them for dinner, so they hook on, and suck each other dry.
      I said all of that to say this, you can not begin to be a brother lover until you get love from your Mother (Mama God). Don't be sad if your family relations are strained. Ask Mama God (Holy Spirit) to identify the holes, bring you to repentance, reveal TRUTH, get free, and then you will find that Agape Love accompanies Storge Love so that you can have Intimacy (Jesus Love) with every person God brings into your life. Jesus is all about revealing God is LOVE!
   

SOLDIER OF THE SENTRY

     In modern day, least wise in America, we don't hear of Sentry Soldiers. Instead, we have CIA, Secret Service, Thugs, and other heavy weights to keep unauthorized personnel from accessing important individuals, territory or information. A country's military takes on the responsibility of securing borders from aliens, aiding allies in gaining peace for their country, helping individuals access basic needs in disasters, etc...you get the picture. While the soldier protects, the civilian lives in peace, right?
     Last year, the Holy Spirit had me reread the account of Moses, Joshua, Caleb, the Promised Land, and boy howdy, did I get an eye opener. The reason why they had to be in the desert for 40 years is so that ALL of the children who had given themselves to UNBELIEF, would die off. So, imagine coming out of a life a slavery to the Egyptians and their gods only to find a bigger God who spoke from the sky, did terrible signs and wonders, and could open a ground to swallow your kin (Korah's Rebellion;Num. 16) for rebellion, yet promised you a land flowing with milk and honey....hmmm, would you follow? Willingly? Without fear? Impossible, yet, we have Joshua and Caleb. They were the only ones to come back from spying out the land, with a good report. The others were like...."there's giants in the land." But Joshua and Caleb were like, "Yea, but we can take them with THIS GOD on our side."

     Here's the part that woke me up last year. These two, unique, lion-hearted soldiers had to walk around in the desert for 40 years in a constant state of grief, living with continual death of kinfolk...all the way up to Moses. He dies, and I dare say, that was quite possibly the hardest one to recover from, yet hope remained. Their hearts still burned with The Promiseland. They conquered through unlikely means, but taking possession of the land was a whole different deal. I don't know if you have thought of this, but after war, and winning territory, there is clean up, rebuilding, but then, there is the biggest part...dealing with the dispossessed alien who is no longer welcome in previously owned territory.
     When I moved in here, I immediately began battling with a demon who had possession of this territory. Last year, God revealed the entire process, the battle, the victory, and last night, living in peace in the territory in spite of the constant need for the demon to re possess the land. This is the thing I had never considered, due to the American Dream. Wake up soldiers, we have been sold a bill of sale to land infested with demons we have given power to through the agreement of faith. Remember Faith is to the Spirit as Currency is to the Natural.
     I woke up this morning, so irritated at Jesus because I had to endure the attack of the enemy, who wants territory back, with peace in my heart. Some of you are balking right now, at that sentence, because you believe, as I did, that I have a RIGHT as a child of God, to live without.....anything, well, uncomfortable, disconcerting, etc. Um, as a sinner, saved by the grace of God, in this life, we are entitled to no less, than the death of our savior. In the world to come, because of His Righteousness, we may enter and not be obliterated. He took the punishment so we could have His hug.

Now, I'm going to break it down for you more...in Dispensations, if you will. In the Old Testament, we have the GOD the FATHER Dispensation, and it actually follows Human Growth and Development. All of His interactions with the humans was OVERT. He was seen, heard, felt, followed, known by His marvelous wonders. That is why they followed. In early childhood, good behavior is rewarded and bad behavior is discouraged through punishment. In the New Testament, GOD the SON Dispensation, moves faith from being an OVERT behavior (the Law) to a COVERT allegiance (Morality). By the time a child is 7, they no longer need rewards, very often, for making good choices, because they have found a deeper, more satisfying pay off...feeling loved, appreciated, liked, adored.
     Then, we have the Soldier of the (C)Sentry, who like Joshua and Caleb, knew the truth. There is no rest but the rest in Heart of God. When you have learned that all battles belong to the Lord, and He gives victory to whomever He chooses and as always, for His purpose. Our peace comes in that hope. No one or nothing can have victory over us unless it is granted by the God we serve. He owes us nothing, but He is our father, and He wants All of His children. Does your heart burn for His children our yourself. Every day, I find more slices of self demanding its way, so, I burn it, and offer it up to my God....a savory offering for such an AweFULL God.
     Desmond Doss fought in WWII, was a Conscientios Soldier who refused to carry a gun or shoot anyone. His biggest fight was to be a soldier. No one wanted a soldier who wouldn't fight. He got to be a medic. God gave him a rope knot (special tie) that carried 75 casualties off of an escarpment while under heavy fire. Not one bullet hit him. The documentary is incredible. He struck a chord in me. He is the type of soldier God is raising up in this generation. Our battle is spiritual. The only soldier who gets to enter that fight is the one who is drafted by Mama God. This is the Holy Spirit Dispensation (Bride). That soldier better know that Peace Boots are required, a closed mouth, a zealous heart for Lord, a full armor on at all times....even at rest....always ready. Not looking for a shopping mall, but ever vigilant for opportunities to find, pull out of hell's fire, and disciple God's children.