THE PEARL OF GREAT PRICE

Pearl of Great Price (google)

     When I was going through divorce in '08, I was told by my lawyer that no judge in our state would give me my miracle children, because, by my own admission, my 'husband' was a good dad, had a great house, works at a college, is the sound man at his church...he has the image. When I got back to the women's shelter, I told the co-founder, "I believe God is a good God, but I don't believe He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him (Heb. 11:6, paraphrased)." In light of yesterday's blog, lets look at this verse more closely.
      This morning, I was walking around thinking about why the enemy can admit the first part of the verse, but not the second part of the verse. I asked Jesus, "Did He earnestly seek you, and you refuse Him?" I answered myself, "No...that would make salvation null and void, and it would make God a liar." The Holy Spirit helped me a great deal by reminding me of the Pearl of Great Price in Matthew 13:44-45. In both verses, a man finds a pearl of great value, hides it, goes away and sells everything he owns and buys the field (44), the pearl (45).
     Before we can understand the parable, we have to know the great labor an oyster goes through to make a pearl. So here's a short video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIOSWAbUf74 So now you know that the formation of a pearl has everything to do with irritants. How could that have anything to do with the kingdom of heaven? Aww. We have come to it.
     Have you ever asked yourself the question, "Why are children being baptized, seemingly without choice, when Jesus didn't even get baptized til He was thirty?" The examples that I gave yesterday, of the anointing and the water, didn't come immediately either. Here is what they all have in common: salvation. The name of Jesus means Salvation. How could people have "salvation" without Jesus? How could Moses come up the mountain of God without being slain? The answer is the Holy Spirit. In the Old Testament, The Holy Spirit (Water of the Word/Oil of Anointing) rested upon the "servants of God." What marked them as servants, was their faith. God accounted "_____" as faith unto him...

Baptism of Jesus (google)

     Things get murky when we try to equate the Gift of Salvation with the Kingdom of God. They are cut out of the same cloth, but one functions as a covering, while the other functions as "Inheritance." In any kingdom, all royal children are dressed according to their position of power/authority. God's Kingdom is similar, but don't go to far beyond the attire. Salvation belongs to alllll within the household of faith. Anyone who is brought to the Household of God, who desires to just be in His presence, He will in no wise, turn them away. There are many in the household of God who are content with just being in His presence. They serve those "who will inherit the Kingdom" with great joy. They don't desire or have a passion for knowing the inner workings of the Kingdom or to Know the King intimately...in the belly of His sufferings. That's ok. God has room for them.
      Now, for those who will inherit the Kingdom, Baptism and Anointing is absolutely necessary for HOLINESS. There is no way you can begin to lay down your life and take on His, without first, dying to self and accepting the Calling God has given, regardless of your feelings. No person can "earn" anything in the Kingdom. Kingdom gifts are granted, not rewarded. In order to have Wisdom concerning The Pearl of Great Price, one has to work through a great many irritants. Why? It is the working through, that makes us able to see His Perfect Gift. I thought I saw it before, but I had to lose everything, including my name to truly see the value. There is no gift like it, and it is the exact reason why the enemy can never say, "He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." He seeks to know self as god; not counting self crucified in order to see God.

Real vs Fake (google)

      In the examples of Noah, Moses, Jesus, well, and for that matter, the disciples, the impartation of the Holy Spirit is too fold: Water (baptism) and Oil (anointing). Salvation stands alone. In order to be an inheritor of the Kingdom, it is necessary to be baptized and receive the anointing of the Holy Spirit. What is Spirit is Spirit and what is flesh is flesh. Man aught not touch the precious things of God. Philippians 3:12-13 says, "...continue to work out your salvation with fear (awe of God, beginning of wisdom) and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose." We tend to judge others for their lack and ourselves by our intentions. In the Kingdom, inheritors must be constantly aware that if they choose to see sin in others, then they agree to admit that it is double in self, and it is an opportunity to deal with self rather than "call out" others.
      Ok, on a final note, lets answer the question, "Why would the finder of The Pearl of Great Price, hide it, then sell everything he owns, return, and buy the field (44), the pearl (45)?" The field represents the condition of our heart...the Pearl of Great Price is hidden inside. The Pearl couldn't be His until he bought the field through the "laying down" of his former life. It cost him everything. In vs. 45, he takes the Pearl of Great Price in his hand, signifying the Spreading of the Gospel (Good News). Such great joy comes with Salvation, that one can't help but share the Gospel; however, it is not until the new believer has been fully submerged in the Water of the Word, and the Oil of anointing,  that he/she can operate the Pearl of Great Place with Wisdom (authority of Love).
     I thought of one more thing. Why a Pearl...why not a diamond, emerald, or stone? I believe it was because Jesus knew that a Pearl would only be seen as valuable by those who are fishermen for a living. No one else would truly see the great efforts used in the formation...how slow, how patient the oyster must be while being irritated. Pearls aren't dazzling and alluring, but around a Bride's neck, priceless. This has been such an awesome journey with my Jesus. My Pearl is in place, and I'm ready to go.

WHAT IS THE PRICE OF YOUR GIFT

Food Bank (google)

      Yesterday began with a trip to a local church who was giving away groceries to the needy. I hate those things because they are humiliating and the workers are generally condescending. But, I went, because a friend got an invitation in the mail, and she didn't want to go alone. Besides, I would be lying if I said I didn't need the groceries.
      When we arrived 50 minutes early, people were already standing outside the door in freezing weather...some with infants. We rolled down the window to find out where to park, and the attendant said, "Now ladies, the doors will not open til noon." Already, it begins. However, we weren't in the car for 5 minutes, when the doors opened. As we entered, attendants were saying, gruffly, "If you are a worker, to the left. If you are receiving a basket, to the right. We don't wantchya in the cold" Then, some lady got up on the stage giving all these instructions and literally ended with, "Now listen, we don't want pandemonium. There is plenty of food for everyone, and every family represented here, will get a ticket (gold, really?). At this point, my anger is rising.
      You see, in order for recipients to receive a basket, they had to come into the sanctuary and listen to the gospel. I was outraged that the "Good News" was reduced to a tool of manipulation. For those of you who don't know how it works, this is it. Nonprofits get funded by people who can see that the program is making a difference. Therefore, the number served and the number saved equals money to refund the program the following year. In other programs, the funding is according to their goals, in short, is the program breaking the chains of poverty that makes homelessness, drug addiction, depression, etc an outcome?

Baptism (google)

      The service was good, until the end. About 50 people came forward to receive Jesus, after a 20 minute appeal to the recipients. I can't say that people were responding to the Holy Spirit or extreme manipulation...only God knows the heart of man. But what followed, was nothing short of spiritual bludgeoning. I saw this man in white robe with a gold rope around his waist, appear in the balcony. I asked my friend, "Who is that up there?" She said, "Oh, well, I guess they are baptizing today." Immediately after that, the speaker read a verse that said we are commanded to be baptized, and well, if you truly want to follow Christ, you got to nail this down." I am in utter horror, at the complete miscarriage of the gospel (Good News).So he was telling these brand new babies who have just come through spiritual birth (forgiveness) to not only come forward and proclaim that they are a "forgiven infant," but he also wants them to fully understand and agree with the gift by being baptized immediately. This is not LOVE according to 1 Cor. 13:4. We can't even get passed the first attribute of LOVE...."Love is patient."
      I have been so irritated at Jesus for revealing to me that the reward of LOVE is Compassion, because I couldn't see the value....until today, looking back on yesterday. I have always had a rule as a parent, if a child harms himself/herself or others as a result of disobedience, punishment is never an option. I thanked God for those moments, because they were teachable moments that occurred naturally. My boys have such tender teachable hearts, they have always responded with gratefulness. No they are perfect, but they are gifts from God. I don't know what causes a person to come to awe of God in the sacredness of His Gift, but I do know, without it, it is impossible to be pleasing to God. The journey to Jesus is so sacred and is never to be touched by "man-handlers." Don't think God will go lightly on anyone who takes the vulnerability of the hungry and uses it for "kingdom or personal" gain. Salvation belongs to God. I am praying that compassion will come to the minister.

Anointing (google)

      Last night, the moment I got into the bed, I asked Jesus to clarify Baptism for me. Immediately, one of my favorite preachers came on Daystar and guess what he was preaching? That's right, Baptism. He gave three examples in the Old Testament that were type and shadow of the practice. Noah's Ark...the Ark was Salvation, and then the water came....washing away the old and bringing in the new. Then, the flight out of Egypt....Moses came to God in the desert (40 years), led the children out, then the old was washed away in the waters and the Promised-land lie ahead. I fell asleep by the third. Throughout the night, God gave me dreams, talked with me, and here is what I came to understand.
      The Gospel (Good News) stands alone. You can not add to it or take away from it. In the Revelation (of Jesus Christ) 22:17-19, we are told, "The Spirit and the bride say, 'Come!' And let him who hears say, 'Come!' Whosoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take the free gift of the water of life." In the verse alone, John captures the complete operation of the Spirit, the water, and the life. Was it not Jesus who said, "I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life (John 14:6)?" Everything we need for the salvation robe, is in Jesus. Heaven is open to whosoever will. God is not ignorant. He knows that many will come to the party, but only the first-fruits who are consecrated to God (Levites-God is their inheritance), will want to know deep intimacy with God. He can deal with that. That is how much He wants Heaven to open to anyone who wants to be there...even if they are only a tiny bit interested in knowing His Son....and the Price of His Gift.
      In the following two verses, we are warned, "I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book." Did you see that at the end? You will not lose your salvation....but your inheritance. I love how much God loves us. He literally covers anyone who wants to come to Him.
      Finally, I will continue what the Holy Spirit has showed me in a blog entry tomorrow. The anointing and baptism are important, but they come in a timely manner after salvation. They can not, in any way, be added to salvation. His Gift was all the Gift we will ever need to enter into Heaven. I don't know about you, but I am rejoicing over the Good News of Jesus Christ.

GLORY GIRL

A little girl was born long ago
With her importance concealed inside
She grew up with troubles and sorrows
In a place where dreams lived and died

Oh, there were pretty gardens
Enough to bring a soul to hope
But there were also big oaks
Where desire dangled on a tethered rope

The more she grew up
The deeper significance drove...down
The bottomless well, so empty
In her tears, she could easily drown

It seemed like all dressed alike
In dark, black, nothing clothes
But she believed their had to be colors
Where beauty freely flows

One day, the bottom fell out
Her well could no longer hold
A man appeared with a color
That lightened her load

She followed him, wherever he went
And began to leave the town
Others were horrified to see
Smiles replace her frowns

Her walk became a run
She came and went at will
Til the community demanded payment
For an undisclosed bill

She sank in despair
Not knowing how the bill accrued 
Her mind raced in circles
Not understanding how happy, could ever, be rude

Her deliverer bid her come
Leave the people with their despair
She couldn't leave her love
But her heart remained ....there

Many years passed with her love
She grew and learned her worth
As her color was revealed
Her love filled the earth

Everywhere she was led
Her color caused a stink
Angry mobs of fearful peeps
Refused to see, hear, or think

Complacency dulled desire
Too dull to point out the WAY
She skipped with joy
Encouraging others to come away

Comfort bought their souls, long ago
In the habit of survival and pain
It was easier to pay the piper
Than allow the heart any gain

She lived among them, for a bit
Enduring the constant push to conform
But nothing they used could touch
The color that the Spirit formed

Every abuse, every blow
Made the color glisten and shine
Revealing the Truth
This Glory Girl is mine.

Written by Trudy Schrader on 11-07-15

 Moral: You can lead a horse to water, but you can not make him drank. Choice was worth the death of His son. Love can't be bought, it must be won :)

LEAST DESIRABLE CALLING

Noticed (google)

     I'm going to be open and candid with this post. Above all, I wanted influence. Not just influence, but for important people to affirm me, be associated with me, connected with me. Look at T.D Jakes. He didn't begin with fame, fortune, and the power to change lives. As with anyone "coming up," he had massive trials, still is, if you follow the news. However, the end of the story is supposed to be bad first, reward later, with people on the outside, not knowing all the struggles you endured to get to THE place God called you to.
     Call me crazy, but I've always had a problem with this. As it is with any dream, the "coming up" is the real story. The being rewarded is the icing on the cake. What if I told you, that many "come up," but find that they have no natural reward. No one whisks them into the spotlight, or makes everything all work out. In Hebrews 11, the writer gives a list of the faithful servants who were well known to the people, but then, in vs. 35, he launches into the point, "...others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison... (vs. 39) These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised." Because we live in time, when we hear God's voice, it's natural to put a time "frame" on it. Why? We want to know that if we must suffer, we at least get a payoff. Just because we follow Jesus doesn't mean we have been magicked into a nonhuman, super spiritual, arrived at enlightenment being. Believe me, when the flesh cries out, it means to get relief.

Unnoticed (google)

     So, I have journeyed long and hard, running after my deliverer. Whatever He has required of me, grace has allowed me to function within the moment with Love. Still, it was like a shadow was behind me, trying to take over my vision. In my "coming up," I despised power, because the authority that had it, found it more pleasing to the flesh, to strip me naked and beat me rather than nurture me and help me grow. I have never wanted power or authority. My heart has always been to restore, renew and grow people. I just thought it would be in a more noticeable way, rather than God given moment by moment appointments in which privacy was paramount. So then, I started saying something really stupid and desperate, "I work CIA for Jesus." Isn't the whole point of CIA, secrecy? I just wanted people to know, I'm not a loser. Yea, I don't have a natural job that generates income. My car was repossessed. I have too many natural and spiritual circumstances to voice. But, you gotta know, I really am walking by faith, and even if it looks like I am a failure, God is working.
      I've had many jobs thus far, but none are comparable to mothering. I flipped out with joy when one of my boys decided to play a game with me on Facebook. Of course, two weeks later, he is no longer interested. But the moments of being a person to my child were sacred. They are treasures in my heart. I have found that it is not what you do, as a mother, FOR your child, that has an impact on them. It is being available. That's it. No frills, no tangible rewards, no kudos, but the benefit of that simple calling, is insurmountable. When a child knows they are covered, that one or more parent will always be available (physically, emotionally, spiritually), the child grows up with a peace that can't be possessed in the trials and sufferings of this life.

Available (google)

     So, as I laid on my bed last night, arguing, struggling with the spirit within me, I finally came to accept and be at peace with my calling. I had to redefine power. The Holy Spirit asks, "Are you committed to seeing His children free from fear, at peace and in their right mind?" I answered, without hesitation, "Yes!" "That requires power. Remember, you don't fight, Jesus fights. You are called to be available and to cooperate." That's it? Really? There's no re....ohhhh! Once again, I'm led to a walk that is powerful with great authority, but no one will even be aware of my sufferings or the great reward I have in just walking with Jesus. I don't get a front row seat in watching Him work; I rest in Him while He works. How cool is that?
     There are so many of His children, who are serving in the open. God knows the heart, and He alone is the righteous judge. But I'm here to tell you, if you settle for your reward here, enjoy it. You can't have a natural reward and a spiritual reward. It is a choice. Right now I can hear all the justifications. The old testament natural blessings on His servants were to identify them, set them apart from the world. They predicated the spiritual blessings that the new testament saints would experience. So many died, and were never mentioned in stories or books. The only requirement for every follower/disciple of Jesus is to be available and cooperate, so that the reward we receive can be lain at His feet. If that ruffles your feathers, then you haven't went deep enough with Jesus to lay hold of His sufferings. He alone, is our reward. Remember, all of humanity's sentence, because of the Fall, is death in the presence of a Holy, Almighty God. The idea that He even thought of us, was gracious, but that He planned and carried out the Crucifixion of His only Son, that's Him being Daddy God. He means to have all of His children home...at any cost.

THE PRICE FOR VOICE

Myth Buster (google)

     It has taken such a long time for me to gather my acquired tools and present them, publicly, without giving the enemy a "head's up." My hope is to prepare any mother who is hearing, for the first, and maybe only, time, that her child has been abused. Because I worked for Department of Human Services as a Child Abuse Investigator, I know protocol....but, I also know the law. No matter how long I have been gone from that place of employment, I am never to reveal my training. To do so, would be endangering the very children my heart is dedicated to protect. So, for better or worse, here we go.
     Much to everyone's surprise, abuse hasn't increased, it's just being revealed, and with a great deal of confidence from the abuser. Because of the internet, and disloyal, ignorant former employers, leaks have happened not only on the internet, but also national news. I was horrified when a well known family, in our home town, was exposed for abusing his sisters as a juvenile. First of all Juvenile Court is closed to anyone not involved in the case, and the information is protected by law....unless big names and money are involved. That's disgusting. Do these people realize the message they gave the little ones who have gotten caught up in the abuse "cycle" were told, by their actions alone, "I am never safe. What's the point?"
     So, the first tool I'm going to give you is SHUT YOUR MOUTH. If your child comes to you and reveals to you that he/she has been touched in private places by a trusted family member, church member, teacher, coach, spouse, do not ask questions. With the most compassion you can muster at that very traumatic, betraying moment, your child is all that matters, and you have to do this correctly, or it all goes to hell in a handbasket. If you haven't washed his/her clothes from the past day, get them, put them in a bag, and put your child in the car. Take him/her to the local Child Abuse Advocacy Center. If you don't have one in your county, take them to the hospital for sexual abuse, and police station for physical abuse. Neglect is a hotline call. In our state, the state police handle all abuse calls. These people are trained on a regular basis on HOW to talk to children, without creating a leading question that would ruin an investigation.
     I know that you need support. I know that you are terrified, angry, etc, but you must not tell anyone while the investigation is going on. If there is a trial, you will more than likely have a "gag order" preventing you from talking to anyone about the abuse, except for a counselor. Counselor's are bound by law to cooperate with law enforcement and the governing agencies in order to protect a child. They have to tell you that up front and you sign an informed consent form. A counselor is a great idea. They are a much needed support for the family.

Hurt (google)

    My second tool is BELIEVE YOUR CHILD, even if you don't want to. Here's why, you could go to jail for not responding appropriately. If you don't believe me, check out state law on "Failure to Protect." If you smoke in the car with a child (October 1, 2015), you can be sited and go to jail. Children are first. Now that they have a voice, parents are guilty until proven innocent. It is the price. It has made a flip in how the law is interpreted. For instance, A parent who struggles with drug addiction, obviously suffers from Neanderthal thinking, and believes their high is more important than ensuring the safety of their child. End of Story. You will get NOOOOO compassion from the Courts or cooperating agencies. Do everything to ensure your child's safety. If you don't, you need to go to jail to get some perspective.
      Here is a huge misconception: Abuse hurts. Well, physical abuse does, but the mind has mechanisms for escape. Thank God for the way He made our mind; it works for us when our feelings and emotions get overwhelmed. As for sexual abuse. If it's rape, it doesn't just hurt, it is traumatic, damaging, mind altering, soul shattering; however, most children who are sexually abused are not raped....right off. There is a long period of grooming. The younger the child when the cycle begins, the more likely they are to see the legal definition of rape, as love. If the abuser is a close family member and has access to the child on a fairly regular basis, you can count on it.

The Threat (google)

     That brings up the third tool: TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. However, if you were sexually, physically abused or neglected as a child, and have never worked on making peace with your past, you can count on your instincts having a "familiar feeling." That makes your response or reaction, dull and suspicious rather than on point. DHS workers have found themselves dumbfounded by parents who not only fail to respond/react to child abuse, but also remain with the offender rather than the child. Guaranteed, they were abused and have had no time, space, or support to work through their own trauma. No matter how hard you try, you can't give what you ain't got.
      Finally, have an EMERGENCY PROCEDURE LIST, posted on the refrigerator. Here's why. When something happens that is outside of the normal functioning of the brain, a list can help "kickstart" training. Also, if you and your spouse are open about how you view abuse (My loyalty to you stops at the maltreatment of any child), the list is a warning to both parents to be on guard concerning interactions with each other and your children. On the list, you will need to have done some research with local police to find out the procedure so that the safety of your children is known and expected by all who pass through your house.
     The Threat is extremely important. So, make a list of your children's "currency." What moves them to feel love? What makes them feel safe? What makes them feel threatened? What or who do they cling to, love most dearly? Offenders don't use the threat "I'll kill you, if you tell," unless they are a stranger. My rapist used, "Do you want us to be divorced like your mom?" I didn't want to be a homewrecker, cause Christians are supposed to be peacemakers. Familiar people know and use their currency against them. For instance, if they have a pet, killing the pet, with whom they share alllll of their feelings cause they will never talk, would be terrifying to the mind trying to deal with trauma. Go with God and work diligently to keep your children safe.