TAPPING TERROR

Martyrs for Christ (google)

     For Christians...Americans, humans, all around the world, this picture strikes terror in the hearts of the bravest men and women on earth. This morning, I woke up, after seeing "TERROR" first hand, and I prayed, "But Lord, I didn't say a prayer...what did I do? What's the point?" He simply said, "Training." As He began to open my eyes to how terror works, I was moved to compassion for humanity, that is by no means, ready to encounter terror on a global scale. In order to get rolling on this, we must start at the beginning. Beware, this entry is for warriors only, who want to know what the cost of choice really is, and how valuable and dear it is to the purpose of God.
     I'm sure it has never crossed the mind of the ordinary person, "How do abusive households become abusive?" Seriously, who, in their right mind, just wakes up and says, "Ya know, this mamby pamby parenting isn't ringing any bells for me. Why don't we mix it up babe, and show the children just who is really in charge?" People don't wake up and become anything that is in direct opposition to who they are originally created to be. Abuse is a learned behavior that can be unlearned; however, terror, is not. It's a whole different demon, and a war tactic the enemy is going to use often and thoroughly in these last days.
     This is going to get rough for some of you, but I am not here to hurt anyone....I'm here to train anyone who will listen, get wisdom and obey. With children, when parents have a lot going on, and don't need any more complication in dealing with life, authoritarian parenting just seems to flow out of a river of frustration, yearning for any semblance of control. The household gets reduced to rules, regulations and punishment, but no reward. There's position, power for the docile nark, who tells on everyone and protects  no one, least of all, self. When you see a child who has been trained to obey without regard to personal desire or choice, it strikes a chord of compassion with the heart trained by love...a flat, to be exact.

Docile (google)

     Then, there is the rare child, who hasn't just been "abused," but terrorized, brought to a place of void by their commander and chief...a sharp, that hurts the musically inclined ear, when heard. They do anything and everything commanded of them to do, without thought, feeling, or reason....no desire. Even, if they were given a gun to shoot their perpetrator, they would not, because terror has taught the child, to believe, nothing can separate them from their commander, not even death. The evil that brings that condition is almost impossible to overcome....but we know, nothing is impossible with God.
       Once, God took me to a place, where a child was being terrorized. In his mind, he was motionless. I saw our way of escape clearly, and worked with him diligently, to move. He showed me how that his mother was a witch and could track his movement immediately. I told him to get under me, because I was there to lead him to freedom, and that Jesus covered me. He did.When his dad saw me, his attention was on me, and the boy escaped...so did I. I love how God works. Terrorized people do not move out of their own volition...but the will of their captor. Movement is one of our greatest weapons.
      What I'm about to give you is a tool for the days that are about to come upon us. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you wisdom (understanding in love, clothed with His authority) in the walking out and application of this tool. Just this week, I got a refresher course in the difference between Power and Authority. Authority is positional, meaning that, a police officer, because he is operating in the authority of the city, county, or state, has the right to issue you a citation for breaking the law within his jurisdiction. For example, if you break the law in Fayetteville, a Bentonville Police Officer can not issue you a ticket; however, a State Hwy Patrolman can. Power is entirely different.

Terrorized (google)

     First of all, you must know that we all have personal power, meaning, the power to control and operate our bodies in accordance with our desires. People, who are powerful, are those who are completely contained, not allowing others to dictate/pull on the heart of their desires. They know what they want, and know how to get it. The majority of their people are those with bleeding hearts....wanting things they never got, but believe they are entitled to. Seriously, extremely easy to sway a person with promised entitlements or rewards. They have to have some narks and a large number of people pleasers. For the Powerful, it's not about having authority (the position to perform a job), it's about having the numbers who will carry out their desires without question....so that they get...recognized, and become feared. I have seen the Powerful, drunk on the fruit of their reign, and one thing you can count on, pride always gets stupid in the end.
       So, what you need to know about the group at the top. The Powerful ones are in black, but those with authority, are the ones in orange. They are fully contained in their hearts. Their allegiance is to one God, one Master, one Savior, and His name is Jesus. What you should know, is that all martyr's (saints who give their gift of life for the cause of Christ) have been given grace for their road. Jesus is in their suffering with them, so there is pain, but their is a peace, indescribable. The tool is this: Powerful groups gain allegiance of people groups by terrorizing (death that baffles, shocks/mutilation, etc) a small number of victims in comparison to the territory they want to rule. So, by beheading (so barbaric) Christians/Soldiers/Women/Children, they make "safe people" aware of evil. By evading capture, prosecution, and justice, they incite...hopelessness.
      How can we use the tool? Ask God if there is anything or anyone draining your Power. He will be faithful to reveal. Oh, Power of what....Power of Choice. It is so sacred, that the King of Kings and Lord of Lords put off His crown to win our hearts, fair and square....to choose Him from the acknowledgement that He chose us before He put down His crown. Predestination has a different definition now, doesn't it. Never ever choose to serve the enemy in any way or any capacity. Walk out your fears with Jesus so that when the choice comes, you will lay down your crown for Him.
     

THE VOID

Dark, bleak, without form, void
Lie the womb in hopeless despair
The egg, the seed, the way
All were there...
         but, no movement

Eyes, blinded to blessing
Have, yet refuses to hold
Hearts longing for a reality
Never to lay sight on, behold
        movement, rhythm 

Broken, bruised, and bored
They lash out at thunderous roars
Not knowing the evidence of silence
In the child that will never be born
        out from dead waters

They shun, while I adore
Laughter, giggles, and innocent play
They miss the precious stones
Shinning before them every day

My God, Hear my cry......why?
     Am I evil?
        Will I hurt them?
           I hate you....you did this to me....I didn't sign up for 
                                      BARRENNESS............waste land

Accusations are not questions
Nor is birthing a child, parenting
Grace cover the lawless
Yet it is far easier to give way to meriting
         favor...a blessing...from God

It's all hogwash, the stench of vomit
I am what I am, without engaging the Ogre
Asking for what isn't being offered
Rude, dishonoring, vulgar

WHAT....count my BLESSINGS?
        You're out of your mind.....do you actually think I have one?

The breath of life, hmm, not sure
Blessing or the curse of all curses
I see my content...falling out from
My Gucci, D&G, purses
         Hide me....please,...please hide me

Shame is a worm coat, dirty and wet
Made up of wrong choices and well worn regret

Take it off?
    Give you my only coat?

On the ground, face down
No courage to lift my head
A soft hand raises me up
Declaring, "Rejoice, Beloved! The old man is dead."
       ....a robe of red, loosens the flow

The river of blood rushes through tubes
Cleansing the way of roots
To accept, receive, His seed
And finally, produce tasty fruit
       for my Master

The movement within my swelling womb
Thrills my heart to spill
Revelation is for the believer
Who will birth evidence before it is real
      What a wondrous feel,
                  My BABY......

Written by Trudy Schrader on 05-19-2015


Note to Reader: I was barren, with no hope of having children, due to a Fallopian tube disease. God put me in a job, where on a daily basis, I had to be part of broken homes due to abuse and neglect. I birthed, in the spirit, my babies, before He evidenced the healing that has always been mine, in the flesh. There is nothing like barrenness. The heart aches so deeply...only God knows. We are all barren until God works out of us, the works of the flesh. We can not hope to be fruitful parents unless we spent time with Jesus, addressing and weeding out ineffective parenting methods used on us. God is Father first. He is parent. Allow Him to parent the wrong parenting out of you.

CONVENIENT PARENTING

The Busy Mom (google)

     I was listening to some Youtube conspiracy theory video about how the Occult has worked its way into the fibers of our society. The one that stuck with me was that when the first boxed cake mix came out for the convenience of a home on the move, it sat on the shelves. The company went to "marketing specialist" to see how to make it more appealing. The box  mix required the woman to add water only. The specialist said, "Require them to add an egg." They did, and the boxed cake mix flew off the shelves. I don't need to tell anyone what the egg stands for...Christians believe, "Oh it means new life so we can have Easter Egg hunts at our church." However, in the Pagan religions, it stands for fertility.
      There is nothing wrong with a cake mix. Honestly, I've made cakes from a recipe in a cookbook and from a box, in both instances, the result is a cake. I don't even care that they are different tasting, or that one might take 3 minutes more to assemble. What I care about, is "the hook," the thing that appealed to the hearts of mothers that previously, was appalling. I want to honor woman in their intelligence...I will not believe that an egg hooked them. This is a heart issue, and will always be a heart issue. Stick with me, I'm not judging, trying to show something here. In Matthew 23:25 and further, Jesus is having a conversation with the Pharisees and Sadducees who believed that the letter of law could earn them a place in God's Kingdom, but worse than that, they believed they were flawless in their observance of the law. He says, "Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean."
      This instruction aims right for the heart, and takes the life out of the argument. It is soooooo perfect. I'm sure all of us have done dishes at some point in time. Think about it, how hard would you have to work to clean a cup or a dish without ever getting the inside wet and soapy? It's impossible! The only way to get a dish "clean" that way, would be to....um, I don't know, polish it? Well, then, there you have it, and frankly, as far as I know, you don't eat off of polished dishes...they aren't clean, they are pretty! Let's see it from the other perspective. If you aim for the center and the sides of the dish, the outside also gets clean by the constant dipping in and out of the water as you scrub the center. I'm swooning here...He's so perfect :)

Convenient Foods (google)

      Back in the 1800's, in Europe, when woman began to work toward a voice, they couldn't own property, they always stayed at home, choices were few and far between. It would have been great if the heart of the matter was, "I don't believe woman should be beaten, raped, or mistreated by their husbands, nor should children suffer at the hands of their parents. But, you and I both know, that was not the heart then, nor is it now. Woman have been fighting for generations to be =, or should I say, to have = benefits, respect and glory. Here we are, in 2015, with men leaving the workplace in order to stay home with the kids because the wife makes the most money and childcare, outside the home, is not an option. One more step, please, I'm getting there.
        I love hearing my neighbor talk about how she grew up in Bentonville without any Fast Food, and a 5 and Dime. My home town had a Post Office, a Newspaper, one grocery store, a Hardware store, Ottasco, one gas station, and Pinkerton's Body Shop. We were good to go. My Mama cooked 3 meals every day, never rested, cleaned the house daily, did laundry daily, and took care of children til she went to work, full-time at Lincoln School as a lunchroom lady. We got fast food, literally, twice monthly...when we went to pick up Grandma Ryan. She took us to the A&W in Springdale. Such awesome memories. Fast Food was a treat, not something one did on any kind of normal basis. I told myself a lie, "Trudy, rich people do this every time they want. You are poor." Where did I get that?

Food For Thought (google)

       It wasn't that far fetched. I never played sports, but my friend's dad was the coach of her team. They went to a fast food joint on the way to a game. I was in band. Mama had to send us $ every time we went to a competition. Those people who lived fast moving,money required lives, got the benefit of convenient eating. I wanted that, but I hadn't...earned it? This same thinking, as old as history, has finally come to a place of full revelation. When the heart believes that it has "earned" a reward, and it is willing to demand it and fight for it, what can you do but "adore" the cup, or throw it off it's shelf, busting it open to reveal the black tar within.
      When it comes to parenting, it is not something you do, it is who you are, right now, on your journey of growing love. When children arrive, some are still children. You can't give what ya ain't got! No matter where you are, there you are. As long as you're growing, you are good. Unfortunately, children can not see life from your viewpoint, so don't ever try to make "friends" with them. You are ahead of them; albeit, maybe only 12 years, you still have value. There is no shame in being a mother. Such a high calling has never been topped by any war hero....why....a mother has always preceded any and all of our heroes. Women, here is a simple truth: Make a name for yourself here, you better enjoy it, because you won't have one in Heaven. Take Rahab, Deborah, Ruth, etc.....we think they had names among their people. No they didn't. We have the Bible, they didn't. They had the Septuagint, Torah, and Jewish Oral Tradition. Women had nothing, and were nothing if they were single without children...male children, that is.
        Parents, who at the heart level, want nothing more or less than, "My Will Be Done," are bowing down to convenient parenting. All rules and actions are meant to mold the child into a trophy for the Glory Shelf. Sure, the children have the benefit of doing a lot of fun, busy things, have the latest electronic devices, have connections with some of the most important people who are dedicated to excellence, but what they are missing, will take them a lifetime to get over. Why? Because, nothing can take the place of a good cry with a pubescent child who is having a hormone surge. The busy life will not allow for slow, unpredictable, inconvenience. It is so difficult to believe and understand that all a child wants is for you to believe and embrace them as the center of YOUR universe....when you were raised with, "Children should be seen and not heard." If today, you realize truth, repent, and ask God to began the tedious work of cleansing the inside of the cup....the outside will be cleaned in the process.

THE HEART OF THE QUESTION

Why (google)

     One of the many things that got stuck in my heart, about the growth of a child, is to never ask them "Why?" It is a moot question for a child who can not begin to connect the dots of cause and effect until after the second neuron growth at around age seven. So, for example, if you were to walk into a scene of "murder and mayhem," the questioning would have to go something like this, depending on age: "Joe, your sister is crying. Do you think she is hurt?" If the answer is along the lines of "I didn't do anything...she just burst out crying," investigation is necessary. "So, Joe, your sister had her bottle when I left the room, but I can't find it. Could you help me?" If the child goes right to the place it was "taken," then you know. Children are so simple. It seems to me that someone might be needing some "quality time" with Mommy/Daddy. Oh, also, no short term memory. They are too busy working on long term memory. This is why children repeat, nonstop, and can be entertained for hours doing the same thing over and over again. The mind is a wonderful thing, but you must know that there are two approaches to the raising of a child: through the heart or through the mind.
     With special needs children, I believe they are drops of dew from Heaven, reminding us of the better choice. It is so obvious with a special needs child, that you must parent Heart to Heart. If you don't get this, you will be frustrated, most of the time. I never will forget, struggling so hard with inadequacy of being a stay at home mom....just felt like I wasn't doing enough to ensure the safety of abused children. I lost myself in online games (red alert, red alert, noticing a current pattern here :( ). I was about to score high, when Lucas came and interrupted me. I blurted out, with frustration, "Lucas, you made me lose my game." He was only 23 months, but his answer cut my heart wide open, "Mommy, I dus wanna spen time wif you." I grabbed him up, held him for as long as he would allow, then went to play with him. Perspective is everything.

Why Not (google)

     I'm sure that parents of toddlers have noticed a marked period of "Why?" It's a wonderful season of questioning. Unfortunately, if you are having a mind to mind relationship, you will be frustrated most of the time, because the toddler does not come equipped with "Appropriate questions to ask your parents," already geared up and ready to go in their absorbent mind. They learn speech through non verbal communication, and all babies babble the same. This is why you don't make a big deal about inappropriate words. Words without positive reinforcement, such as laughing, acting aghast, reprimanding, etc will just fall away...unless they get it from other sources. If you sign with your baby, and your baby recognizes that you understand his/her request,.....the bonding is beautiful, and it aides greatly in the heart to heart relationship. So, when a child forms a question, it will be one word sentence, then two, then three....see why "Why" is the buzz question? It sums up the real question, "Why me?" That is a jam packed question that will take a lifetime to answer.
       I don't know how many of you have found your child in a "moment of expression" such as the child above, knowing that their action has caused permanent...uh, alteration, uh...to a very expensive belonging, but our reaction means everything to their heart. May I remind you, they don't understand the words: temporary, permanent, damage, graffiti,etc. My boys, only 5 and 3, decided to pick up sticks and rocks, and "chalk" my car. Lee was furious. I couldn't understand...it's temporal, paid for, who cares. He sobered me up right quick with, "Trudy, remember your first day of work at D.H.S. and those sixth grade boys in orange and shackles for...what was it...graffiti? Fast forward 7 years. I will not have our boys in Juvenile Detention cause they, 'didn't know.'" That was the hardest and yet most necessary discipline I had to give...because I love them. Honestly, thank God for the teachable moment, early on, so that it became part of their "makeup." There is something deep in them that tells them, "You can hurt someone's heart if you damage something they worked hard to obtain."

Leaving a child alone (google)

I have said it often, but it is worth saying again: Fathers are responsible for calling forth a child's identity, and mother's are responsible for teaching and providing for the care and comfort of home. In reality, it would look like this...children with father's who are absent or want little to nothing to do with their children, their children walk around, carrying a cement block, full of everything needed to run and enjoy a household, but no place to put their block. If they have a present Father, but absent mother, the children have the block in place, but are constantly seeking "instruction, care, comfort" outside the home. A child with no parents, are plagued with the question, "WHY ME?" Yea, it looks like the exact same question as above, but there is a world of difference between them...the heart. Who is engaging their heart.
       I hate living in a world where you see mother's of toddlers walking with her hands on her phone and not in the tiny hand of her child. Children are left to their own devices to glean from life, the necessary teachings and tools for building...what? Homes without engaged parents? Parents want to know devices more than they long for the company of their children. You can not discipline (disciple) children by the law. It will eventually lead to revolt. That is the obvious outcome. I had a dream not to long ago, about a bee that was in the only clean shower. My immediate response was to kill it, because I was entitled to a shower without the concern of maybe being stung. Immediately, it turned around and I saw that it had an iron head. It came after me. I stood still, allowed it to put its stinger in me, because I knew it would die and I wasn't allergic. You can not engage a creature whose mind is fortified with iron and whose heart is ready to die in damaging you. If we are to win the hearts of our children, we must return to the question: WHY ME? and answer it together.

BONDING FROM THE BEGINNING

Failure to Thrive (google)

      One of the cases I handled at D.H.S. made a lasting impact on my heart. I have been with children all of my life, observing how they grow, what is normal, what is cause for concern. My Education Degree was the icing on the cake. When I saw the six month old child, lying on the couch, looking like a very gaunt newborn, my heart ripped inside me. The mother was not engaged or connected to this child at all. She sat on a different couch, refusing to look at the infant. I founded the allegation of inorganic failure to thrive and got services in to the family immediately.
      The problem originated at the hospital. The birth was traumatic, leaving the medical staff every reason to warn the parents that it didn't look good and to prepare for the loss of their infant. The mother, unexpectedly went into grief/depression. Honestly, a person who hears such a possibility has got to have faith and hope to cling to...she was deplete. The father worked full time and gave all he could. When the infant came home, he had to be fed every two hours through a feeding tube. Once the home health nurse came in on a daily basis, and the mother was counseling with staff at a facility dedicated to the nurturing and growth of special needs children, things began to turn around. It took about 9 months, but the baby began to thrive, as the mother began to fill with hope and gumption. It was a wonderful process to behold...step by step. Incredible to watch the mother hold the infant, making eye contact, and smiling. Awwww, bonding, their is nothing like it.
     The natural journey for a child, of course, begins in the womb, where the disposition of the child is formed through the current mind set of the mother. If the mother is anxious and stressed, it deeply affects the "way" of the child. But, we are going to skip this and go to Bonding. During my 5 1/2 years at D.H.S., I observed the bonding, daily, between mothers and their children. It was horrific to watch a mother abandon her children for the "codependency" with her man.It was equally, thrilling to watch a mother, with some innate ability to have all the right responses, and through intense trauma, grief and betrayal, pull herself together for her child, and ensure the child's safety over the loyalty and life built with a husband for years.

Add caption (youtube)

     Just as there are natural causes for not being able to bond with a child, their are also spiritual reasons. Some of the natural reasons are, but not limited to rape, child born with special needs, traumatic birth, unacknowledged lack of bonding with maternal grandmother, socioeconomic status (Africa death rate), unwanted pregnancy and many more. However, two weeks ago, I came across this news report that brings to light an issue that is just now getting acknowledged.     Basically, the mother had this daughter 49 years ago and was told she was dead. No, she was adopted to another couple. Seriously? Yea, that happens and happened more often in the late 60's and early 70's when hospitals could get away with it. It is wonderful to see the immediate "bond" between them. The thing that drives adopted children to find their biological mother is the same thing that drives men to go from bosom to bosom.It is the need to have Storge' (Store gay) love...or Mother love.
      Mother love can only be given one time in a person's life...naturally. I was talking with a friend this week, comparing the spiritual need for the milk of the Word and the natural need for Mama's milk, when I surprised myself with this statement, "It has nothing to do with 'the milk.' It has everything to do with the Mama conveying to the child, through prompt response...I will not allow you to sit in your own waste, I will hear your cry and recognize your need, I will ensure your safety as best as I can." People argue over being a stay at home mom, working mom, nursing mom, bottle fed...and it has nothing to do with Mother Love. Simply put, it is eye to eye contact that literally wraps the soul of the mother around the child. If the child gets this along with an environment that invites exploration and learning, the infant thrives and grows, with the building block of Trust vs Mistrust firmly in place. "I will Trust." Unfortunately, if trauma is delivered to the child before the age of 3, chances are slim to none of obtaining the building block. If you are an adult wondering why it is so hard for you to trust, ask God if it has anything to do with the bonding process. He will be faithful to reveal.

Mother Love (google)

      In the late 90's, Attachment Disorder began to emerge with some very strange therapies. The truth is, if you didn't get it through natural process, you can not get it out of season. It is a seasonal love that is vital to "normal" development. Thank God, He specializes in the abnormal. I learned a principle this week: Natural Law is under the authority of Spiritual Truth. It doesn't matter if you are a person who acknowledges the Spiritual Truth or not. Don't believe me, go to a third world country laden down with witchcraft and vodoo and watch the effect of Truth on the lives of the people. A whole life lived, drenched in old ways and lies, obliterated by the manifestation of "Mother Love." When Mama God (Holy Spirit) loves on you at the point of your deepest need, it is always perfect beyond reason, healing the deepest aches and pains of your heart. The picture to the left sums up the concept. With her eyes, she is saying, "You are the center of my world, the fruit of my womb. Life is beautiful. You make me smile. My joy is full."
       I have told my boys, often, that there is a grand reason why all children are egocentric in the beginning...it coincides with the presence of Mother Love. A child has need to feel the devoted attention of a Master Gardener who knows how to put her child in the garden with her, working side by side, showing through example, tools and how to use them with care and love in order to yield fruit that is pleasing and needed for growth. Is that too hippie for you? Well, I would have made a great flower child.
      During Foster Care training, we watched a video where the foster mother had planted a plant in a shaded area. Within days, the plant looked horrible, the foster child noticed and told the foster mom. Seriously, teachable moments can not be planned or staged, but it worked for the video.The child asked, "Is it going to die?" The foster mom said, "No. I believe we can save it. This plant needs a lot of sunlight, but it is in the shade. We need to move it." As she transplanted it, she spoke of how sometimes the original home lacks something that leaves the plant open to parasites and even death, but moving it until it gets healthy, can save the plant. Then she told the little girl how that foster homes are like that...they give the plant what is needed until the parents learn how to garden/parent with wisdom.
      Mother God does the same thing. The Holy Spirit can reveal what has been concealed under the soil, transplant you to a place where you can be nurtured by brothers and sisters in Christ, who help you grow with love. I'm astounded with how many churches don't understand the simple principle of mother love. When a baby is born, you don't require the newborn to eat meat. Why on earth would you tell a newborn Christian to "get in the word," or to "pray an hour a day?" No freakin' way. Jesus said to Feed My Sheep three times to Peter which restored Him to God spiritually and gave the natural process for new disciples...Feed them. Why? Because when you meet a child at their most basic need, you open their heart to love. We have umpteen homeless hungry people in Northwest AR and we have million dollar churches with million dollar programs that deliver benevolent bowel movements to the wretches of earth....but rarely do we make eye to eye contact that says, "You are known to God and me. This is what love looks like...it looks into your eyes and chooses to see your soul."
     This week, the internet crawled with the abuse video of the Mom assaulting her child, taking control over her child's desire to be part of the rioting in Baltimore. I won't post the video. I deplore abuse. I want to say one thing, a controlled child will never return to a mother with love and mutual respect...do you see why? The example far outweighs the intention. I have said, often, "If it's s#&t, no need to sit down in it, riffling through it, trying to find evidence of seed growth. There is none. It all shrrit!" The good news, give your shhhrrrit to the Master Gardener, and it becomes fertilizer with purpose :)