THE VOID

Dark, bleak, without form, void
Lie the womb in hopeless despair
The egg, the seed, the way
All were there...
         but, no movement

Eyes, blinded to blessing
Have, yet refuses to hold
Hearts longing for a reality
Never to lay sight on, behold
        movement, rhythm 

Broken, bruised, and bored
They lash out at thunderous roars
Not knowing the evidence of silence
In the child that will never be born
        out from dead waters

They shun, while I adore
Laughter, giggles, and innocent play
They miss the precious stones
Shinning before them every day

My God, Hear my cry......why?
     Am I evil?
        Will I hurt them?
           I hate you....you did this to me....I didn't sign up for 
                                      BARRENNESS............waste land

Accusations are not questions
Nor is birthing a child, parenting
Grace cover the lawless
Yet it is far easier to give way to meriting
         favor...a blessing...from God

It's all hogwash, the stench of vomit
I am what I am, without engaging the Ogre
Asking for what isn't being offered
Rude, dishonoring, vulgar

WHAT....count my BLESSINGS?
        You're out of your mind.....do you actually think I have one?

The breath of life, hmm, not sure
Blessing or the curse of all curses
I see my content...falling out from
My Gucci, D&G, purses
         Hide me....please,...please hide me

Shame is a worm coat, dirty and wet
Made up of wrong choices and well worn regret

Take it off?
    Give you my only coat?

On the ground, face down
No courage to lift my head
A soft hand raises me up
Declaring, "Rejoice, Beloved! The old man is dead."
       ....a robe of red, loosens the flow

The river of blood rushes through tubes
Cleansing the way of roots
To accept, receive, His seed
And finally, produce tasty fruit
       for my Master

The movement within my swelling womb
Thrills my heart to spill
Revelation is for the believer
Who will birth evidence before it is real
      What a wondrous feel,
                  My BABY......

Written by Trudy Schrader on 05-19-2015


Note to Reader: I was barren, with no hope of having children, due to a Fallopian tube disease. God put me in a job, where on a daily basis, I had to be part of broken homes due to abuse and neglect. I birthed, in the spirit, my babies, before He evidenced the healing that has always been mine, in the flesh. There is nothing like barrenness. The heart aches so deeply...only God knows. We are all barren until God works out of us, the works of the flesh. We can not hope to be fruitful parents unless we spent time with Jesus, addressing and weeding out ineffective parenting methods used on us. God is Father first. He is parent. Allow Him to parent the wrong parenting out of you.